I feel broken

I want to better myself, every day I wake up in a depressed slump. It feels as if I am being sucked deeper and deeper into a void of unproductive manners, depression, loathing. I realize that this is a very dangerous situation to be in, especially as an inherently lazy person. Some days it gets so bad that I can't even do the things I do enjoy (Writing, Film-making) like the rut I am in takes the passion and drive from even the things I love the dearest. There are moments where I find myself jealous over others who are doing things with there lives, I see so many people just doing anything and I feel like I'm having trouble even making that initial start. This is a desperate cry for assistance more than anything. I realize that a lot of you guys are probably in a similar situation yourself, probably most don't even care. Dearly, I want to make something of my life though. What can I do to start pushing myself towards making my life worth living? I'm finding it so hard to just realize and understand what I feel like are probably basic concepts that make up an organized and eventful life.

>>2522 Hello and welcome. You're describing a position I found myself in not too long ago. Thank you for bringing attention to it. You're also far from alone. Besides myself, there are many lains in similar predicaments who are discussing how to help themselves and each other in this thread >>2320 I think it would be worthwhile to post in that thread, or at the very least read through some of it. I won't get into it here, but there are many tactics that we are using in attempts to improve. And maybe those ideas are stupid, but you also might find that they offer up others that are more suited to you. It should be noted that mental illness, like depression, anxiety, etc. changes the standard for what is considered "healthy". If any of the methods discussed in that thread make you feel even a little bit better once or twice, that can be considered an improvement. That being said, these might not work every time. They aren't cure-alls, nor are they guaranteed to improve your situation - what works for some people may not work for you, and vice versa. That's just the reality of mental health. But it's a starting place, and while the benefit may be small, most of us seem to have observations and methods that are consistent with maintaining healthy lifestyles.

After being here for a couple years I noticed and maybe im projecting but people are less hopeful it seems like when it starts to turn winter. Everybodys depressed here all the time but I notice during summer a bit more hope or at least more grand abstract ideas and then it starts to get around this time and I just see posts like yours of intense frustration and a real need or desire to just be saved or cries for help. not that saying that helps anyone. its funny cause I love the cold more but its true for me at least. OP this isnt any help I think you should pursue your goals I know exactly how you feel and also pursuing them wont help that feeling of missing just the most basic concepts especially not immediately. Ive been working out for a month and ive been taking art classes all things I wanted to do but im still not ever doing enough and I still feel behind other people because I spent my whole young life on places like this and you probably did too and im sorry that happened and it shouldnt have happened and there might be nothing to do about it but just keep working. i mean i dont know if your in college maybe or maybe your still in highschool but i just hope you can find the strength to get a job or keep working on school or whatever and I wish what im saying if it does inspire you could inspire you for more than just a moment but I know it cant. just dont lose hope, thats really how far we have all fallen that I think thats all the advice I have left to give anyone. i hope you dont lose hope. I hope you can find the drive to do things and also keep hoping for better. this is advice people give to starving populations to war torn populations to broken countries and rape victims and abused broken people to people fighting for an impossible cause and here im in one of the most wealthy countries but im the bottom of the barrel and maybe you feel the same. maybe you also feel like though you dont have much reason to feel so down all the time compared to those around you you are just nothing.

>>2522 I'm just like you anon. I'm not qualified to give advice as I'm not really doing any better than you. You're not alone. Just wanted to say this.

>>2522 Lainchan needs a motivations board filled with chemicals and neuroscience. LTD long term depression when you have much potential you need LTP long term potential

Read Mastery, by Robert Greene.

their* lives

depression not only fuarrrks with your feelings, it fuarrrks with your understanding of the world and the big picture which is ultimately dumbed down - by you - to a few things. so you don't realize that the world you're feeling is not the actual world, or even worse, that you see "the real world hidden behind a veil of lies". my solution was to go out and do a few things that i could enjoy. it's obvious that if you live in cold heart city block russia, for example, that is going to be hard. most times i just went out to the nearest, tiniest, most comfortable coffee shop (i still remember it; the old German town, the fallen leaves in Autumn, they were selling cakes - Bienenstich, Schwarzwälder torte, etc etc - and biscuits and many other things to eat downstairs, and when you went up a narrow staircase, they served coffee and tea upstairs, there were few people, the decoration was great and i just sat, ate, chilled... i still wonder why everything smelled so good) i just spent a few hours there and had a great time, all alone, all by myself. reading a book. and then i paid and went away. you don't especially need to be very successful, anon. just being happy and honest earns time through. the initial start is achieved through a low-end job with perspectives of evolution. if you have nothing, don't ask for more, do your part, and do it well. eventually you'll be rewarded. we all want to make something out of our lives, it's a common panic. but truly, there's no one who goes without finding their way. you have decades in front of yourself. in that time, you'll build yourself up. even if it's just through sheer boredom and irritation of being depressed. by the way, anon, i care.

here's a little something to cheer you up

>>2622 ? posting again

Just start walking or running, build to longer distances and make it an adventure, just keep going how far you can go, build to vaster distances, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment of life from the physical activity, try to find more rigorous roues, and never go the same one over again unless you are going further, it breaks up the monotony and routine, I am usually just upset that I dint go farther >you might meet new people >you might find unique and beautiful places >you will see an improvement in health >you will get fresh air >you will familiarize yourself with an area i would walk with you, but its not possible over the internet, its hard to be in a bad mood when your whole body is pulsing with hormones and adrenaline or interest in whats at the next corner or behind the next building or tree if you are in the woods. It will also give you ideas to contemplate and write about.

>>2624 This. I recently moved into a new area across the city (out of my parents house) and was feeling really sad/disappointed in myself after sitting inside day after day, just playing games and wasting time. I only knew the roads around my new house that took me to the one nearby supermarket, and the road that lead into the centre of town. I decided to go on a bike ride, and actually got lost for a couple of hours riding round the suburbs, but it was actually pretty fun! The more I ride around, the more comfortable I feel with my surroundings. At the same time, I'm getting more fit, and am getting whatever biological/chemical goods your body gives you whenever you exercise. It also helps to eat well (not junk food/instant noodles/soda all the time), sleep well, and have at least some social contact with other people - but don't force yourself too hard. Find a group of people with similar hobbies (e.g. computer club, anime club, motorcycle club) at uni or elsewhere - if you can. Start slow OP, work out what you want to do - write a list of just three things you want to do at the start of every day - and try and make them each have a different focus. I like to have 1 focussed on something related to uni (catch up on lectures for one course), something related to my professional work (work out what the fuarrrk perfect forwarding actually means) and something related to leisure to calm me down (grind to the end of a dungeon in some RPG). At the end of every day, assess yourself honestly. Did you complete your goals? Did anything get in your way? I hear exercise is a little easier if you have someone to do it with, but don't let that put you off if you don't. Let me know what you think, and let us know how you go OP! pic somewhat related.

>>2625 Eating healthy can do a lot for you. When I cleaned up my diet and got rid of alcohol, sweets, junk food and fast foods, my mood and energy levels improved.

Go to the library. It's just a hub of productivity and the search for knowledge for me, it's like my second home. Check out a book. Study. Check out a nice movie. Everything's free.

I too regularly find myself staring at the screen, unable to summon the energy or creativity to accomplish anything. Unfortunately, it is just the case some people have the chemical makeup that we're made to suffer like this. All I can say is hang in there Lain, time tends to turn the tables one way or another on a long enough time span. Seek out the sun, eat well and try to exercise a little when the dundrums hit.

there's only one solution, and we both know what it is, but neither of us are gonna do it at least for now because we're all pathetic.

I've suffered with this for as long as I can remember, and often find most of my days still plagued with this reality. I will literally ignore things that I love merely out of procrastination or the thought of having to actually use willpower to improve my skill at something. Along with what other lains have said about diet and exercise, I would add that I have only found positive results while doing these two things: acting quick and starting small. >acting quick Essentially, there's a brief period of time within your brain when you are actively in control of what you want to do. Want to start programming but notice yourself slipping into laziness or putting it off? There's about a 20-second window where you can actively force yourself to do it before it feels like torture. I know it sounds hard and over-simplistic of your situation, but it's quite literally the only thing I've found that's worked for me outside of amphetamine salts and uppers. The next time you want to do something productive or outside of your typical routine, you will experience that resistance. You have 20 seconds to force your body to move. Close the tabs. Move your laptop. Whatever needs to be done -- do it. The longer you wait past this period, the harder it gets. >start small Substantial results are created through a compounding effect of investment. Do you need to workout? Do 2 minutes. That soykaf is easy, I promise. Then after that 120-second torture fest is over, you're done for the day. Do that for a week before you go any further. Compound that attitude and begin to gradually increase the duration. Again, it may sound too easy or over simplifying of your unique circumstances, but suspend all disbelief for a week or something. What's the alternative? You know exactly what your current actions get you, what could hurt? If it doesn't work, come back to where you are now. But after a year of slowly increasing your time at doing soykaf you hate but know you need to do, you'll be a different person. People rarely wake up one day and suddenly become and entire different person.

I actually think a really high number of people are depressed these days. Depression has always been the most common mental problem but it seems to have gotten really bad. I think humanity is pretty sick right now. I think that many soykafty people are reproducing and producing kids who shouldn't even exist in this world. I think sometimes depression is these kids screaming for death, but I also think other times depression is someones reaction to the overwehlmingly cruel and negative aspects of this world and the state of modern society. I think people who are smart, creative or sensitive are also likely to feel depressed because they will be even more aware of these things and/or they will be more sensitive to it. The main reason I tend to feel down lately is due to the fact that it is very difficult for me to find people on my wavelength. This is definetly enviromentally caused for me, because in my natural state I actually tend to be in a more heightened mood. I search all over the internet for people, I've probablly met every kind of person at this point. Most people have stabbed me in the back or abandoned me and that is depressing. Out of the few people I have left to talk with almost all of them are depressed themselves, and unlike me they tend to avoid social interaction when feeling down. Regardless I still try to fight it, often avoiding deep depression with things like diet, excercise, cold showers, forcing myself to move foward and do things. I refuse to give in because I want REAL friends and so I am not going to stop being authentic. I tend to just get really angry at the world at a certain point instead of hating myself like many people do.

I've had the same feeling for a long time lain. I promised myself this summer that I'd read through an abstract algebra book, start exercising, and meditate regularly, and the only one that has materialized is the algebra. I've been trying to accomplish at least one thing every day. Fixing my bike, making decent food, seeing a friend, reading a section of my book... it fends off those feelings of being completely worthless. I recommend it. If at the end of the day you can say "I did this thing" then it was worth it to get up. I want to be one of those people who just powers through every day, and I know I can do it because I used to, but for some reason I'm not. It's really a conundrum.