Reality disconnection

I'm going to post some things that have been happening in my mind lately, because I think some of you will be able to relate and maybe offer some advice. My connection with meatspace has been cutting out. I'll try to explain what I mean: Imagine you are watching a film or playing a game and you are 100% immersed, and there is a power cut. You would get a surge of clarity as your reality suddenly switches from that of the film or game to that of meatspace. What's been happening to me is my immersion in meatspace is having sudden drops in the exact same way, the difference here is there is no, for lack of a better term, 'higher' reality for me to be pulled into. I see meatspace (including my own physical form) entirely objectively as if without a point of reference, in the same way that in the game example you would suddenly see that reality as just a screen. I have noticed that when this happens I start interacting with meatspace, causing things to change, pushing things over, moving around etc. I think this is my subconscious mind trying to reconnect with meatspace by stimulating my senses with signals from it. I am not saying this is only negative, I think it could be utilized in a useful manner, but I won't pretend its not stressful. If you have experience with this kind of thing, do you know of any ways it can be controlled and utilized? Just as bad as my inability to halt it is my inability to incite it. I've seen people talking about what I interpret as this kind of thing giving advice like 'push through it and you will find truth' or more abstractly 'seek mebious' (don't worry this whole thing isn't just from putting too much weight on SEL, I just connected this to that webpage when it started) but I don't know how to do these things. I am completely lost.

So as im interpreting it, you are having sudden moments of clarity regarding your perspective on the world? i think i have experienced something similar before. I find that it happens often when i havent socialized with any of my friends for a time my bonds of materialism to life weakens, letting me gain a more solipsistic perspective. Read some about solipsism and 'brain in a vat' Some bearded guy in the 1800s prob expanded on this concept and has a wikipedia article on it with the correct name for it. Anyone know what it might be?

It seems you are talking about derealization/depersonalization, i have a friend who suffered from those a lot. Now she goes to the therapist, but i didn't asked if she still have this episodes. If you want i can do it and tell you if therapy made things better or not. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

>>2213 Sounds like you've developed a skill for seeing things objectively. Your "connection" isn't cutting out but, it's expanded. You're right however, >>2222 is also correct in a sense. In social situations you can use that objective sense of observation to learn without internal biases. On the extreme end however you could be "depersonalized"; acting on the "behalf of others" when you really should ideally speak for yourself. This is the brink of disorder; wherein you cannot be what you desire to be or even pinpoint who "you" are. My advise to you; don't be disconnected. Think about what you want to be, how you want to use yourself. If you cant decide, read and learn. If you find later you really have a problem with focus however, practice concentrating. Develop exercises for it and practice concentration as if you were doing mental weightlifting; you will become stronger.

>>2219 >I find that it happens often when i havent socialized with any of my friends for a time I haven't talked to anyone besides my family in a while, but I never really liked talking to people much anyway so I don't think my isolation could've caused any significant mental shift, though the correlation is interesting, as it does sound like the same or similar thing from your explanation. >>2222 Thanks for the links, its nice to be able to call it something now. One of the articles mentioned it being caused by 'severe traumatic experiences', but I haven't had anything like that. I guess I'm just /cyb/ as fuarrrk. >If you want i can do it and tell you if therapy made things better or not. I don't think I would ever be able to see a therapist due to social issues and general just-not-wanting-to-anyway, but if you have an opportunity then it would be cool to ask about it anyway assuming she's comfortable discussing it. >>2225 I think you might have misunderstood slightly, when I say 'objectively' part of that is my complete dismissal of the abstract, thus conversation when in this state seems entirely useless. In fact on the rare occasion someone does talk to me when I'm like this I remember just flats out ignoring them - not because I was trying to be rude or anything, but because to me all that happened was I perceived a wad of matter that happened to be arranged in a similar manner to my brain/meatspace interface move in a way that created some worthless waves. This also isn't really a concentration issue, but completely separate from this you have reminded me that I need to work on my focus.

>>2213 You're on your way to deep depression.

>>2247 Depression? Why?

>>2249 Too much self-awareness. You see and feel the void of the existence. And >>2222 Or just projection on my part, in that case ignore me.

I'll sorta jump in. To lainons with depression, if you watched Melancholia, what do you think about it? Does it romanticizes depression too much? Is it accurate portrayal of it?

>>2270 Still haven't seen it, but i definitely want to. I love von Trier, and i heard it's his better film. What's your opinion on it? polite sage for off-topic

>>2213 as a previous lainon said, sounds like derealization/depersonalization to me, I get it too sometimes, it's related to my anxiety disorder. Sometimes if it lasts for days it can be really scary and you might feel like you're going insane. It helps me to just remember that it will pass, if it takes a minute or if it takes a day eventually it will pass just like all things. I recommend staying away from psychedelic drugs until you notice an improvement because that really made things worse for me. Weirdly dissociatives (like ketamine) didn't have a negative effect for me, probably because they have anxiety reducing effects and since it is linked to anxiety for me they canceled each other out. My thoughts on why this happens change depending on my mental state at the time. Perhaps it is a sign that the 'meatspace' we know is not the deepest level of reality? Perhaps it means solipsism is correct and nothing is real? Or maybe it's just a biological defense mechanism against stress like my psychologist said? >>2270 I will watch it and report back after

>>2270 I still think Three Colors: Blue portrays depression the most accurately. Melancholia is too flashy and brutal, when depression is far more quiet, lonely, slow, hard to pinpoint

>>2272 I loved how he avoided the suspense(will the earth be destroyed) by showing it right at the start. This way you can focus on actors more, it's very "people" film i guess

Was or am depressed, met some guys who smoke. I dont know if im more depressed or not. I feel more disconnected than ever before but also relaxed. This scares the living soykaf out of me, that is it would if i still had emotional recognition left.