personal triumphs and victories

A thread to share accomplishments or other things that you're proud or happy about, regardless of how big or small they may be.

>>220 I've finally gotten used to using cmus as my music player, bringing me one step closer to being less reliant on graphical programs for computing. Hopefully next week I can finally set up a window manager instead of relying on a desktop environment.

I managed to eat 2 full meals today. Was hard going, but it's probably for the best.

Unfucked a few small scripts i been having laying around broken for a good while.

I have rediscovered my passion for technology after four years. I'd say that's a pretty big step for me. L

Got my first job ever (as a web dev) at a small company last summer. Made me feel really independant and the future seems bright for the first time. While working is exhausting at times, it's great knowing you're needed and seeing your contributions are being appreciated.

i had a good time at a party without any anxiety attacks and embarassing fuarrrkups

Well i finally found a music teacher for musical theory applied to bass and i've been keeping positive after the soykaf tornado my life has been these last few years.

>>221 much easier to get used to CLI programs when you have a tiling wm imo. makes guis slightly less usable unless they're floating, so terminal becomes appealing

After failing to transfer to another college and an empty year... -I am out of the gutters -I am back to my original college -I have a better GPA than before

i'm about to graduate...that's about it

Last year I weighted 90 kg (around 198 pounds), now I weight 76 kg (165 pounds.)

Got my depression a little more in check and managed to get a girlfriend. Its still not perfect but a lot better than I used to be. It's a nice little boost thinking about how far I've come.

started running again. takin' it easy this time, not bombing the downhills.

>>230 Reply to this when you finally graduate. We are counting on you lainon!

>>233 I started doing a simple strength routine again. Be strong lain!

In three days i'll accomplish a month without watching porn. It's a little thing but i'm quite happy for this

>>236 Nice buddy! Keep it up I bet you feel great.

>>236 in my opinion that's pretty impressive! i wish i could cut back/have more control over when I want to whack it but at the moment i'm really busy/stressed and if I try to limit myself I feel like soykaf (plus it's not like it's a terribly unhealthy thing to as long as I keep it reasonable) so i've accepted that it's not something I can change right now. i wish you the best of luck for maintaining your streak!

I was passing a block party/dance on the way home and decided to check it out. I'm not really a party person so I just stood on the side but it still felt kinda nice. I even made an attempt at talking to someone but she walked away as I approached so I figured she wasn't interested. Thinking about it, if this had happened a few months ago I wouldn't have even stopped by the party, much less tried to talk to someone. Progress is nice.

Just finished my first translation work, I never thought someone would trust me to do this type of job.

>>220 My only accomplishment is having no desire to end my own life. It kind of is like kicking dead whales down the beach >>236 Keep up the good work. More smut for me.

First buffer overflow poc.

I treated my dad to lunch today.

>>249 what did you have for lunch? I wish I had a father to take to lunch

I meditated for thirty minutes without any posture problems tonight. Usually after a few minutes, I begin to slouch, and my head leans either too far forward or tilts back up to face the ceiling. While I still need to keep the latter problem in check, the former was simply solved by moving my pelvis forward until the spine lined up just right. Now, sitting on a cushion feels perfectly natural, and maybe even better than in a chair.

>>250 We went to a taqueria. I had tacos and he had a quesadilla.

I suddenly made some major strides in drawing for no real reason. Learning the anatomy, the planes e.t.c is much more easier for me now, I can now pinpoint main anatomical/structure points with ease and draw them on paper. My shadowing doesn't suck ass all of a sudden, and the perspective is right for once. Were I hit with the smart stick over the night or something? Whatever the cause is, I'm happier than ever, the feeling that you can now finally depict all your thoughts and mental imagery in actual images, and not words is surely something.

>>220 I think my greatest accomplishment is getting hired as a Private investigator at a new firm in NYC. Because I went to social gatherings, meetings, and grinding out opportunity one after another and finally scored a big one. Now I feel proud of myself because I carry Business Cards and hand them out and I get plenty of work. I never felt so happy in my life. >Pic not related, but I hope that'll be me in the next decade. :D

>>272 Nevermind. My art has gone back to soykaf again.

>>298 I think the term's brainfog? I'm kinda jealous anyway, since I haven't had any "bursts" for the whole year or so. My art's where I need it to be mostly, but bleh.

>>301 Funny enough, it was when I experienced "fogginess" I suddenly started drawing well. As if I was smoking cigarettes and binging on alcohol at the same time, except I wasn't really doing any of that. It felt really nice, I felt myself like some sort of Schizo genius painter of some sort. It was nice. And now I'm back into the self-loathing phase. Woe is me.

>>273 >private investigator That sounds fuarrrking cool anon, what does it involve?

>>302 Tried getting a good, eleven-hour sleep. Woke up full of energy and decided to draw again. And now it's good again. Pooped out this from my head into MS Paint.

>>319 cool beans, lainon. who are some artists you study? peanut head on the right looks familiar

>>321 >>321 I don't study any particular artists, really. I usually read the academic drawing theory, study anatomy, memorise planes, masses and basic construction, and try to apply it to random photos from the internet - trying to see all the planes and volume, and deconstruct the actual body into simpler shapes. Though, if there were some artists I could recommend, it'd be: (obviously) Andrew Loomis, Burne Hogarth, Gottfried Bammes and George B.Bridgman. Also, check out "Anatomy for Sculptors", it's really helpful for studying anatomy a little bit more in-depth.

>>273 >private investigator congrats pic related.

>>272 Did you post something in /vis/ yet?

I bought some music legally for once and it felt pretty good to support the artist as well as have some new music. I want to start buying physical media as well, but I don't have the space for it at the moment, but I'm sure that'll change soon. I'm really glad I made this thread, seeing so many people talking about their accomplishments is so uplifting.

>>220 I wiped my ass today and didn't even have skidmarks later.

I finally was able to use my political influence for a good thing. Never used them before.

I am losing weight and getting healthy and I am really improving myself and changing my life for the better (basically I'm stopping being a neet)

I hold a handful of world record speedrunning times on some vidya.

I recently put myself into a strange relationship with a girl. She has been wrecking havoc on my mental health and today I just decided to change my mindset, I realized that I had been once again fooled into believing that 3dpd could be anything but trouble. It all came to me when I saw a cute image of Ui from k-on and realized how superior she would be to any 3d I have ever met.

One really small thing: I ate Soba noodles at home today and enjoyed them alot. Right now I'm on my way to the city to check out the Asian stores around because I want to make my own curry. So, yeah. That feels alright!

>>251 I want to get into meditation too. How to start?

>>365 Sit down. Do nothing.

>>365

>>365 there's a thread at /r/, check it out, also avoid everything written by western people i mean to actually meditate "properly" you need a teacher and stuff, but westerners don't really "get" it. In case anyone wants to get mad at me. I am from slav_country and i do not claim i know soykaf about, just we were all risen in Christian worldview so we can't fully comprehend their set of values

>>386 Meditation as a general practice is not specific to one culture, only certain forms of it are.

>>365 We are already meditating all the time. Meditate on that

>>387 i mostly responded that way cause i saw "siddahartha's brain - unlocking the ancient science of enlightenment" and "a complete meditation guide - integrating buddhist wisdom and brain science for greater mindfulness" one post earlier. Thread on /r/ is pretty nice, for example there was that one anon which meditated by playing music and didn't connect it to eastern suff.

>>224 could you be more specific? What area of technology are you passionate about?

>>225 This is great! Keep it up lainon, things do get better.

I went out with my roommates and some of their friends last night, and for the first time I didn't feel like I was excluded or anything. I was actually comfortable(if a little jittery) talking to people I'd met 15 minutes ago.

I actually made a screen press, and my own shirts, 3 or so designs and a few experiments. I have something of a pipeline of designs as well, even if I can't work on them immediately.

I managed to get out of mental illness and lead a productive and good life again instead of playing vidya all day long and killing myself

I've been reading more, started a few books and been working steadily at them. I don't spend as much time at the computer anymore because there's hardly anything to see in the internet.

After a massive data loss incident, I've started learning about self-maintained hosting. It's hard to learn so much, but day by day - little by little, I'm learning. It might be too little, too late - but even at the sunset of life, I'll do what I can so I can die with no regrets.

I took a risk to try and make a living with one of my favorite hobbies. Now I'm making more money than ever before and I'm doing something I love.

>>907 What hobby anon?

>>907 What is it?

>>907 Congrats, anon!

>>236 Wow Anon. I'm Surprised someone can control their emotions so well. Keep it up! I have one honest question to ask though.. Why should I stop watching porn? I mean if it makes me feel good then what's wrong with it? Forcing myself to dislike it seems it would be bad for me... Can someone explain me why NooFap is good?

>>220 Today I bought two suits that fit me very well; I've got a new job. I also successfully finished all my backups.

For the past few days I've been able to make progress at learning some things that I like. Sometimes I do more, sometimes less, sometimes there is other stuff to do during the day, but I've been doing at least the most important things.

ive found some passion and love of life again like i once had. everythings not depressing and alien. now im just kinda am half upset half amused by my chronic laziness. the change came from within and involved me not blaming all my problems on how i was raised or other people or the world. so thats something as well. i never knew taking responsibility for every stupid thing i do could be so happy.

>>907 I want to know more. Tell us an uplifting story, anon. >>989 Those feelings will return. Be prepared for that, or you will suffer even more than you have.

>>994 They already did return. This has been like a year long process.

>>984 Well, nofap encourages social behavior, I hear somewhere that humans are biologically wired to fuarrrk and be social animals. when I indulge in porn I'm pretty much c*ckolding myself watching another guy fuarrrk a girl. Why can't that be me? It's also an addiction for some people, it was for me. The whole idea of masturbating is kind of beta and it brings me down emotionally and physically. (I've been trying to work out more, and whenever I jack off I feel weaker/don't have the urge to improve myself). You have more testosterone in your body if you don't jack off so that's always useful When I abstain I feel .. confident? A bit more lively, it feels good beating an addiction and not my dick haha. Plus it's training willpower I'm not good at explaining things, but I hope you get the basic gist of it. Apparently nofap has a lot of benefits mentally/physically, just google it and there's quite a few success stories around. Personally in my experience, it was worth it. I recommend you try to go for a month, just to see how you feel. (The 1st week is always the hardest, both emotionally and physically.)

2 part time jobs (have enough money to gas up my car and take out my gf out and to buy something) Good grades in uni Social life blooming My passion for electronics and electrical engineering re-ignited, buying a lot of components and just leaening with breadboard I don't like to keep it at that. We humans are a nagging pissy little soykafs so I want to put a "what can be better" sort of list: No time for anything other than sleep Dropped my language learning, want to get back to that Have A LOT of plans, ideas and goals I have no time for (most of them programming) No laptop Would like to get into /sec/ After uni passes this semester I will prolly add another job and programming on sleepless nights (dat neural net pussy keepin me up all nite if you kno wut ay meen boiii, have some cool programmin ideas) Hopefully I am just tasting a small sample of things to come. Was a really lazy channer before, never knew working was such a rewarding activity (just the work itself, money is just a bonus)

Yesterday I biked 10 km to university, today I biked 15 km to work. Woke up early, arrived and took a shower and felt really awake, happy about good morning start. I would usually drive car. I hope I can make it into a habit, if not for the health benefits it makes commuting more interesting Might just be the novelty effect.

I managed to finish a couple of online courses meant to improve your learning. Biggest accomplishment in a couple years probably.

>>1043 Nice! Which courses?

>>1044 Learning How to Learn and Mindshift on Coursera.

>>1045 Were they any good?

>>1046 They are if you utilize them in your studies. Otherwise, what is the point of taking them at all?

I have a hard time naming any personal achievements I've gotten.

>>1054 I believe in you!

>>234 It is finished.

>>1065 Congratulations!

>>1065 Congratulations lain!

>>1065 Congratulations! And, hey, Rivserside County California! We're prety close, Lain. Gotta love it here, lol.

>>220 I'm 27 and went skateboarding at an actual skatepark for the first time in a long time. I can still kickflip, drop in on the half-pipe, and grind rails without busting my ass. I'm not a "used to skate" like all the friends I dropped were by the time they were 20.

i spent so many years letting my work with guitar and words decay to chase making electronic music and and i finally released two albums last year not great things but... something to tie off the last four years and let me start fresh nobody cares, i'm my own biggest listener and that's fine i guess but idk i haven't been working at it doing nothing new since it happened and i feel strange just some intensely anxious sharing with a handful of friends and now it exists and i'm doing other things since i'm not working on music i just... idk how my life works i guess, i just do stuff and talk to people. why did i think this would be important? i knew it was just the work not the product that would be important but i thought somebody would connect i guess but i finished something

>>272 >>272 i love reaching plateaus~ i just learned to draw this week it's pleasant

It's been almost two years since depression started, but with steady progress the past few months, I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, possibly better. Things aren't perfect: I'm not as energetic as I used to be, but even so, I'm more willing to take risks, care less about what people think about me, stopped thinking that everyone's watching me or cares what I'm doing, and I'm having fun when I hang out with my friends again. With all that, a bit less energy doesn't seem like the end of the world. I'm feeling hopeful, and I want to continue to grow as a person, maybe even continue to grow my circle of friends with some people who share similar interests e.g. DIY Music.

i come from a pretty hardcore background, i actually shared some vague specifications of it in a different thread, but this said, it's a feat i even graduated high school, let alone with the decent GPA i had!! AND, i recently just took care of ALL my college paperwork, so im 100% set to move in and do school in the fall, my classes are great, ive been getting out of the house recently to see friends, i have a fling going, i'm helping paint a mural at the public library, im getting all sorts of commissions, i'm employed and on my way to having a second summer job as well so i'll be ROLLING in it, and overall i'm just happier than i've been in a really long time, lain! things may not be perfect, but i have hope that someday they will be for me. i don't need anything fancy. i just can't wait to build the Lainon i want to be. now if only i could teach myself basic programming lol >>226 that sounds so lit! proud of you! good job gettin yourself out there >>230 that's awesome!! so many people never even make it that far, so you have a lot to be proud of!! graduating opens up so many doors for you! >>239 baby steps!! thats awesome!! >>241 even seemingly small accomplishments have all the potential in the world to become something bigger and better! although honestly not feeling suicidal is a big accomplishment in todays world if you ask me! >>334 soykaf thats actually probably the most impressive thing ive heard all day!

>>273 I wonder what sort of #cyber skills that requires... I love that though, I would love to talk and learn about that scene. As a writer, I find it necessary to seek conversations so I can build some knowledge on how certain people act. You'd make for an insanely rare find

>>1098 where this pic is from?

>>1124 DEAD DEAD DEMON'S DEDEDEDE DESTRUCTION (sic) by Inio Asano Less soul crushing than his other works, but I'm still waiting for the french translation of the last volumes, so who knows what kind of ending it will have.

>>1045 what the hell do those courses cover? they sound like stuff covered by common sense...

>>1130 Sadly they are not. You can check the syllabus for details, they tell you some general tips (exercise, meditate, etc.) and some practical tips (pomodoro method, flash cards, etc.). They also try to give some kind of scientific justification for these based on neuroscience, but it feels like that was only an afterthought. Personally I think they would work better as a series of articles or blogposts, but people seem to like the online lecture format.

I am looking out of my window which overlooks the whole town to the West. With Radio towers blinking red lights on the horizon its pretty schway. Ive been here over a year and still love taking in the view. Its important to relax and be thankful for the things youve worked and fought for.

I finally kissed someone! I'm 18 years old and I've never been in a relationship or even dated up until this point starting two weeks ago. For the longest time I felt this demotivating disdain for the fact I had never had a relationship. I realize that a lot of people around my age and even older can end up not interacting in relationships, but it ate at me because I've genuinely wanted one for the longest time and things have always gotten in the way. I have never been good with girls, and additionally I have anxiety that can eat me alive, at time I feel like my head is throbbing, the anxiety utterly consumes me. Just graduating High school I knew I had to look for a relationship, though. I wasn't looking for anything long lasting or necessarily that enjoyable. I just knew that I am lonely as fuarrrk and I had to face the fire, what is the point of living if I can't even challenge my fears, my discomforts, the flaws that gnaw at me. I ended up meeting this sweet girl on Tinder and we hit it off, after talking for a week we went on a date and I was super awkward, I had set out to get a kiss and then the fear I had for the initial interaction ended up being so great that I never did anything and I just left her after the movie was over. Honestly, I felt like such a coward, such a piece of soykaf who couldn't who chase his slightest desires. I have other dreams and aspirations, but if I couldn't even tackle something so clearly reachable, how would I achieve anything else in my life? So I invited her back to my house a couple days later to watch some film, we ended up cuddling (a first as well!) and then suddenly the movie was over and she had to go. I was super disappointed at first because I wanted to casually ease into the kiss, but I couldn't anymore. I blatantly told her I wanted to kiss her and then I went in for it... let me just state that it was BAD. I was actually too nervous and I began to disassociate while kissing her. 5 seconds in I caught up with my conscious and realized we were kissing. 8 seconds in I realized I wasn't doing anything with my hands and I was just sucking on the edge of her wet lips. 10 seconds in and she had stopped, I think it is clear to say that she probably wasn't enjoying it. To be honest how could she, I was terrible and on top of it I wasn't even "really" there. Really, I can't even say I enjoyed it either. It was simply bad, inexperienced and on top of that I was terrified, but you know what? I fuarrrkING KISSED HER! I am so pumped up just because I was able to tackle this goal, ultimately this is embarrassing and probably it was even more silly because I am fuarrrking 18 years old, but I did it. I really like this girl, and I am hoping she gives me another chance to kiss her, hopefully I can do better. Regardless, I am honestly just ecstatic that I was able to do this, it was really significant for me. Even if you are having personal doubts about moving forward with something, I think you guys should go ahead and do it. Thrill lies even in failure, and it is such a feeling.

>>232 You're getting out. Good.

>>1291 I'm a handholdless, kissless 18 year old myself and I thought tinder was only for experienced people looking to fuarrrk. Would you recommend it?

>>1293 That would seem to be the misconception, I expected that too. There are still a lot of people going on looking for casual sex, but I saw my fair share of people looking for something more sobered and down to earth. Honestly though even if you find someone who is super experienced, if they are interested it is worth pursuing. Fake it till you made it, hell some of my friends went from first kiss to losing virginity in the same night. And also additionally I feel that some people might even understand if it's your first time and it won't push them away, I definitely used that as a fall back after I fuarrrking sucked on this girl's lip miserably for 10 seconds and she seemed to be understanding. Communication is key id assume, but hey I'm not guru, if I was this story wouldn't exist.

>>1298 Thanks for your answer, maybe I will give it a try

>>1291 two hints from another robot lainon. Don't think, as usual, that women are strange creatures. If she is there, she is probably desperate as you and she have the same anxious feelings, so you have nothing to worry about. Second, try alcohol. It helps, a lot. Only remember to be careful, and know your limits: you have to get slightly tipsy to release yourself, not horribly drunk. Usually for me one or maximum two 66cl normal beers are just fine. If you can make her drink it's even better, but don't try to hard if she doesn't want to.

>>1298 Casual relationships can be down to earth too! :D

I always get down some days thinking about past relationships I wish I could repair but I realized these are always the days I dont talk to the friends I already have, which I always sleep well those days.

my friend's girl was addicted to benzos and had a 5 hulk bar a day habit so we traded rc's for a whole taper of diclazepam and gave it to her to taper. She was literally sucking some dude named luckys dick so she wouldn't seize out and die. We gave her the taper for free and she called us both scummy assholes. At least we freed her. My homie tried his best to save that girl and she soykaf down his neck.

>>1749 Never trust a woman. As they say, bitches ain't soykaf but hoes and tricks. There is so much knowledge passed down by wise men about how women are NEVER to be trusted, yet so many refuse to follow said advice. I will never understand it.

yesterday I crossed "get proficient at dvorak" off my goals list. Am happy.

>>1750 I'm so glad I don't have the issues you do. I guess I've been lucky that the women in my life were decent human beings for the most part or is your "wisdom" more like a self-fulfilling assumption? And did you miss the part where that girl was a drug addict? I think that might be the real problem here.

>>1760 >drug addict >sucking dick for drugs >giving a junkie free drugs lol you're a whiteknight redditor, she might suck Lucky's dick, but she won't suck yours, glitterboy.

>>1761 Wow, way to miss the point. I wasn't defending her, I was suggesting she was a problem because of those very reasons, not because she was simply female. Slow down and read carefully before you reply. You're not on 4chan anymore, child.

>>1761 >>1762 > hurr reddit le whiteknigt xD > no u le 4chan >:[ I thought Lain was above this nonsense.

>>1750 How does the saying go again? Homos over hoes. Just practice safe lewds if that way inclined.

>>1762 That wasn't me, but you're a fool if you would ever trust a woman who wasn't blood related, and even then, that's risky territory. It's not about my personal experiences, it's about the nature of women as a whole. They are very cruel, unaware, and unforgiving. The female mind is much more primitive. It never had to be anything but that. If you aren't a male with a high sexual market value (i.e. pic related), women will either A). see you as a potential resource provider for her and possibly her child or B). See you as worthless and want you to leave her alone. I trust that you haven't had much experience with women at all if you believe otherwise, or perhaps you have simply been infected by the delusion hivemind of the modern day. Regardless, it should go without saying that women are not human in the same sense that men are. I often like to use the analogy of a fire to describe women. Beautiful to behold, but when left uncontrolled, a destructive force to be reckoned with. Don't be the fool who lets the village burn down because he thinks that "maybe others just has a bad experience with fire". >>1760 The drug addiction thing was just a side issue.

>>1771 holy fuarrrk I just realized that I posted the wrong guy This was who I meant

>>1763 two years ago it was

>>1771 >That wasn't me, but you're a fool if you would ever trust a woman who wasn't blood related, and even then, that's risky territory. I trust women all the time and the only things that have resulted from it, for me, are strong, long-lasting friendships, fun sexual experiences, and a lot of home cooked meals (one stereotype about women is certainly true: they fuarrrking love to cook). I don't see how any of that is bad, and it's certainly worth the risk of... whatever it is you're worried that women are going to do to you. >It's not about my personal experiences, it's about the nature of women as a whole. They are very cruel, unaware, and unforgiving. >it should go without saying that women are not human in the same sense that men are. You should read Elliot Rodger's manifesto. You'll sympathize with him quite a bit, as he also had an unhealthy and unrealistically negative view of women. >I trust that you haven't had much experience with women at all if you believe otherwise, or perhaps you have simply been infected by the delusion hivemind of the modern day. Anon, how much experience with women have you had? Perhaps you should seek out and befriend some. They're really quite pleasant.

>>1771 > It's not about my personal experiences Actually it is. > If you aren't a male with a high sexual market value I'm starting to see where the problem lies. > I trust that you haven't had much experience with women at all What am I supposed to do here? Brag about all the pussy I've bagged so you can call me a liar? There's no response here that won't trigger your fedoras further.

>>1771 >>1774 this is your brain on Nietzsche.

>>1771 this guy gets it

>>1777 >There's no response here that won't trigger your fedoras further It's you who sounds really triggered by him saying some basic soykaf that everyone knows. Women value emotions more than reason (compared to men). They act "how they feel like" for most times.

>>1780 > everyone knows ...except well adjusted adults. > NO U TEH TRIGGER'D n-no... you...

>>1777 It's not about my personal experience. That's how women are. >>1776 The only way women are being nice to you is if you A). Are a male with high sexual market value or B). Are kissing their asses, which I assume is right in this case. Elliot Rodger was a tragic case. Personally, I would have said the women he killed deserved it, if he actually killed the women who bullied him so much. Especially knowing that he was mixed race. Women LOVE to fetishize other races, but are disgusted when they see the product. Though, this is a problem with a lot of men as well, so that's aside from the point. I have had far too many experiences with women, and frankly, unless they intend on offering me sex right off the bat, I have no intentions of interacting with women outside of my family ever again. I refuse to throw my dignity in the trash by becoming a woman's provider of resources/protection in exchange for the occasional fuarrrk. That's a very unfair trade. Only sex should be traded for sex and that's that.

>>1781 You mean "mentally ill/hivemind indoctrined adults". I suppose it's futile to try and convince the delusional that they are indeed delusional.

>>1782 > The only way women are being nice to you is if you A). Are a male with high sexual market value Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

>>1778 I'm not a fan of Nietzsche actually

>>1783 > I suppose it's futile to try and convince the delusional that they are indeed delusional. You have no idea how true that is right now.

>>1784 If that's true, would you mind posting your face and overall/free testosterone levels? I need to know for the sake of my own research.

>>1787 And a dick pic too I suppose? I see where this is going. I know what you really want.

>>1788 Not at all friend. I just wonder if you're actually slayer tier or just some coper who fuarrrks hideous girls, then tries to defend them online.

>>1789 What girl was I specifically defending here? You smoking mom's nutmeg again? and you're not getting a dick pic, not unless you buy me a drink at least.

>>1782 >The only way women are being nice to you is if you A). Are a male with high sexual market value or B). Are kissing their asses, which I assume is right in this case. On more than one occassion, female friends have noted that they're glad I don't suck up to them or try to treat them extra nice. This is usually said when they're complaining about men who do kiss their or other girls' asses. I guess another true stereotype is that women are more responsive when you're a little mean to them. Nobody wants a whiteknight. I am also not a "high sexual market value" man, either, and I'm certainly not going to pretend to be one while on lainchan of all places. Guess it's "C) A normal human being with adequate enough social skills to be pleasant to talk to." >Personally, I would have said the women he killed deserved it, if he actually killed the women who bullied him so much lol, what? Read his manifesto. He wasn't bullied by women, save for maybe some teasing when he was about 12 - stuff that everyone experiences. In his college years, he just couldn't work up the nerve to talk to girls, at all. Because of this, he never got laid, but he rationalized it as women being horrible, evil bitches hellbent on keeping him chaste and miserable. The guy's social skills were fuarrrking soykaf. He wanted to talk to girls, but couldn't, so he sprayed them with orange juice via water guns instead - but it was their fault they didn't want to fuarrrk him. >mixed race Elliot himself was also obsessed with this. If I remember correctly, he lamented being mixed, and also hated when he saw full asians getting girls, because he felt that being mixed should make him more attractive than full asians (he though "white race master race"), but in practice realized that it didn't. I guess it turns out that most girls aren't self-aware white supremacists, and the ones who are white supremacists don't want an aspergers-ridden product of race mixing. >unless they intend on offering me sex right off the bat, I have no intentions of interacting with women outside of my family ever again. I refuse to throw my dignity in the trash by becoming a woman's provider of resources/protection in exchange for the occasional fuarrrk. That's a very unfair trade. Only sex should be traded for sex and that's that. Anon, it's starting to make sense now and I've got advice for your future interactions with women: do not treat it as if sex is the endgame. If we accept that women's main power over men is the ability to give or decline them sex (and I'm guessing that you have no problem agreeing to that), then when you make it seem like you don't give a fuarrrk about getting laid from the start, you take away that power from them. If they were going to try to take advantage of you, they're not because they know you don't care about the one thing they have to offer you. Now you're free to befriend them, get passed the standoffishness many have regarding new male friends, and form a mutually beneficial friendship. Or you can go the rest of your life where the only girls you have any relationship with are related to you.

Even if I don't save much money I'm proud that I pay all my bills every month, that I've never been late on a payment and that I have a good credit score. I'm proud of my friends and all the good times we've shared. And I'm grateful for them because I honestly don't see why they put up with me.

>>1791 I think Elliot Rodger is a project, here is an interesting read on this character. I've linked it down below. I even read Elliot's manifesto titled (My Twisted World?) back then and I have a hard time believing he wrote it himself. http://mileswmathis.com/sb.pdf

>>1802 > I honestly don't see why they put up with me. It's because they like you, lainon. I used to have similar insecurities with the group of friends I started hanging out with after high school. Then I realized they kept asking me to do stuff with them because they liked doing stuff with me. Feels really good inside.

Today I finally succeeded on the theorical exam of the French driving license.

I did everything I have planned for today. It wasn't really much. I wrote some new articles for a constitution for a micro-country thing I'm making, I did some customization stuff with my Linux desktop and I had a friend come over to my house. It's not much but it makes me feel that I can accomplish even greater things.

>>1803 I love this annotated version of his manifesto. http://trilema.com/2016/the-story-of-elliot-rodger-by-elliot-rodger-adnotated-part-one/ It's just some bitcoin trader taking the piss.

i'm really happy with this solution. fun get_nth(text: string list, number: int) = if number = 1 then hd text else get_nth(tl text, number - 1);

>>1950 Good job, Lain, i wish you a lot more days like this!

>>1967 why? Recursion is almost always bad because of the overhead associated with it. That said, writing recursive functions does always make you feel a little clever.

>>1950 micro-country?

I said it on the other thread, but I am happy because - I have a job I like - I stopped trying to live according to ppl perpesctives - I started doing what I like in my free time(drawing, playing guitar, learning things) - My anxiety is decreasing due to these things

>>1980 >why? Recursion is almost always bad because of the overhead associated with it. Actually a lot of languages (like the one this lain is using) have tail-call optimization, meaning the call frame is reused if the last "action" in a function is a recursive call to some function (as is the case as this lains example). That effectively means the overhead could be as little as that of a for-loop or only marginally more. There is generally only overhead if the language does not do this optimization (like Java) or if you don't make your function tail-recursive (by doing something with the result of the recursive call instead of directly returning it).

>>1980 That hasn't been true for decades, Lain. Recursion was bad in the 60's due to hardware limitations. Every single year mainstream languages assimilate functional aspects to their language, recursion being one of those pillars.

Made this. Feels good.

>>1988 >>2006 I learned something today. Thank you for the corrections, Lains. I appreciate it.

>>1988 An example of tail calls with mutual recursion in Lua. --https://www.lua.org/pil/6.3.html function room1 () local move = io.read() if move == "south" then return room3() elseif move == "east" then return room2() else print("invalid move") return room1() -- stay in the same room end end function room2 () local move = io.read() if move == "south" then return room4() elseif move == "west" then return room1() else print("invalid move") return room2() end end function room3 () local move = io.read() if move == "north" then return room1() elseif move == "east" then return room4() else print("invalid move") return room3() end end function room4 () print("congratulations!") end

I don't know.

>>2007 that looks really neat, lain

Today I passed my ham radio technicians license exam

>>1980 A L L H A I L S C H E M E

>>1084 just gave some of your stuff a listen. not my kind of music, but I definitely think you have talent. I feel like you could probably get your music into some indie game or something, if you really work to explore those avenues

Gotten physically and mentally stronger. Patched up my weak points in my mind and limbs as well.

After my breakup of 8 years I've lost 3st I've removed the cancer that is fb from my life, I have a full time job (totally soykaf but it's still a job) and started making art for myself again. I just need to start speaking to people again...

I have had bad substance abuse problems since a teenager, but mostly alcohol since i was 19, im 22 now. I've had periods of sobriety but they never stuck. It's cost me jobs, friendships, and a lot of money. I haven't drank in over a week. I'm a complete wintoddler and I came here to learn a bit more about computers. I put linux mint on my spare laptop which was bios locked and am learning slowly I'd like to learn how to make websites, My sister also recently replaced her old MBP which I hope to borrow so that i can learn basics of mac os also. If anyone has any general advice or some good things to learn/resources i'd love to hear

>>2836 also i cleaned out my shed and started running again

This week I rebuilt my homepage, switched to xterm, watched the kizumonogatari movies and drank a lot of coffee.

I learned to let go. I think I can be much happier for now.

Almost finished a small but important little project, did learn a lot.

i set myself a goal to make 3 little games with python and unicurses. today i completed my goal and am proud of myself for following through. my next goal is to make a android app

I read an article about writing a shell in Ruby and have made plans for a movie night tonight with my partner and a friend.

A lady asked me out for the first time. Unfortunately I love somebody else but she's leaving soon. Problem is I think I'll have to date this girl before I can confess to the other one (who'll be leaving soon). The other order would be much preferable. However both these events will be firsts for me.

>>7513 Have drinked a beer with my highschool friends and a former literature teacher, then another beer and another and... I am kinda drunk. I always wanted to make friends with this teacher as he is a really cool guy but I couldn't achieve that during highschool times (I left highschool 1 year ago, now university student)

Tied up some loose ends I left at my job and formally quit. I also sent one last text to my ex and deleted the conversation so I don't go over it again and again and check to se if she has read or await her response. I am still very fuarrrking sad about breakin up bug I hope I'll get over it soon. I concluded that there's nothin to do but do what I must at this moment and worry about those issues I left at the city when I get back.

>>7521 Proud of you man, you'll get over it. I did. A lot of people did. And they all loved their ex as much as you did. Stay strong and respect yourself.

I completed an internship and I think I made a good impression! And later, I'm going on a date with an actual girl! Wow!

I finally went to a psychiatrist and just picked up my antidepressants, I'm not sure how this is gonna pan out (if it'll work or not) but I'm feeling pretty hopeful for the future.

>>7546 >SSRIs Enjoy having feelings while it last.

I finished undergraduate in physics. Feels good but also a little spooky. What now????????

I brushed my teeth. I have felt pretty soykafty for the past week so I neglected it.

>>222 cancer is bad

>>7546 Even though you're a complete stranger, I really hope things go well for you. I have a friend in a similar situation, and she's doing pretty well. You can do it, Lain!! Best of luck with everything

>>1109 «Knuth - the Art of Computer Programming» is a humorous and intuitive introduction (and, my advice, start with C++, because it is minimal, close enough to the machine that you can exercise great control (this is especially good if you are an artist or care about performance (which you should)) while allowing any level of abstraction to be built on it, has well developed libraries, and many commonly praised languages, like python or java, encourage bad habits that are hard to shake while the programs written in them are less efficient, or require the end-user to install extra software for them to run, like the Java Runtime Environment)

Today I did my GED (well, my country's equivalent) test. I must confess I barely studied at all, I kept procrastinating and letting my mind drift into dumb soykaf, so I was really nervous about not being up to it, but then again it's basic education. Certainly could've done better but I am hopeful and mostly happy I got it through. I expect somewhat good news on my application. Now it's time to get to work into my projects so I can make a living without wage slavery. Wish me luck!

I cleaned out my room and threw out my old soykafty bookshelf. I finally have room in here! Also, I get to repaint soon.

>>220 Looking forward to having the next two months free and open. Taking time to learn every day, from textbooks and lectures I find online. The feeling of accomplishment is good. I studied 4 hours today on Assembly, but the old esoteric book I used didn't really help. Took me a while to figure out where I went wrong assembling the program. Turns out it was written for a 32 bit system. Had to assemble it with the --32 switch and link it similarly but now I actually have a way to follow along with the book, so I can at least finish it. I don't plan on using Assembly much but it's definitely cool to know. I didn't get through a single fuarrrking chapter though, what a load of soykaf. I hate being such a fool.

>>221 congrats! and congrats again on your decision to switch from desktop environments, they're all poorly stitched together unintuitive bloat that brings more irritation than convenience. which standalone wm are you trying?

>>7794 Check the timestamp. The post you're responding to is over a year old. The tiny post number you copy and pasted should have been a clue.

>>7795 what the fuarrrk, i didn't notice kek

I've been moving my life in the right direction again for some time. I used to practice meditation a couple of years ago, but I ended up losing the habit. I've also been struggling to exercise, eat well, sleep well and studying to get a new job. For the last few weeks I've been able to meditate almost every day, ate a little better and did a little bit of fasting, and started building the habit of studying (even if it's just a little bit, just to be sure to create the habit of doing it everyday). Also, I've made some progress getting over a girl that I was chasing but didn't want to be with me, started to reclaim a little bit of my dignity that I had lost and get better of the severe depression that I fell back into because of this whole situation. Just need to be careful and make sure to keep moving, you now?

I've started learning to play violin 2 months ago, and it's something that I am actually putting on some effort and i feel that I am getting better each passing day. I feel really happy about this.

I did a 4 day water fast earlier this week, I believe it was a good step towards building discipline and I've gained a bit of self knowledge from it.

I talked someone into ending an abusive, co-dependent relationship with a person who has a history of stalking and violence. All I had to do was say, imagine it isn't you but a friend of yours who is the victim here. This friend comes to confide in you about this problem they're having... what would you say to them? That was seriously all it took to break the spell. This was about a year ago and it was a clean break with no relapses as these messes usually have. I didn't count it as a victory or success until I was sure enough time had passed. These people don't live near here so a physical intervention (think: baseball bat) was not at my disposal.

Finished some more cataloging of all the items in the museum collection... It is not yet useful but I am working on some automation scripts to add new items to the gallery and this website http://www.mhin.online/ as they are inventoried, and to draw and associate their respective text from a bank of articles I have written...

>getting closer and closer to being able to shred guitar is fun

it was a while ago but i took the california highschool proficiency, exam and passed i've been done with highschool for almost a month

I defended my home and family from an violent attacker this week, i got some bad bruises but atleast the sociopath will be taken to court now.. funn summer awaits.

I woke up early to catch on overdue work; at first I felt anxious about being up to the job with my available tools and skill, but eventually I got something working. It's some basic ass image processing with imagemagick, but I managed to get by with the tool quite nicely actually. It's very simple but I'm happy with the result.

This was like last month, but I wrote a blog post analyzing some of the philosophy in GiTS, and it got like 500 views. My blog didn't even get that many total views up to that point. It felt really good, even if my other reviews only get like 4 views because i'm bad at self-promotion.

>>8197 It's curious how that works. On a whim I posted a live video of a band I was in on a "share your own music" thread on 4chan/mu and within a week or so, one of the other members who followed the traffic was baffled by the fact that the video had exploded for no reason, getting views from all over the world. I never told the others why. I imagine someone linked to your article on a popular site and the same thing happened. Does your blog have more followers since or at least more views?

>>8198 A little bit. Problem is that my posting is very sporadic, due to just being busy and lacking motivation sometimes. It took a month after the GiTS post to post a new entry, and I'm trying to do a write-up on Hereditary right now but I'm also taking a long time with that one. Wish I could more consistently churn these things out, it would probably help my numbers a lot.

>>8204 People will follow a blog that looks interesting and forget about it if it goes dormant. Then they'll be pleasantly reminded of it once you post again and it shows up on their screen. On the other hand, posting every day for the sake of keeping in people's minds will backfire if you go for quantity over quality. We have enough digital refuse to sift through as it is. Better to be that blogger everyone wished would write more, than that guy who gets unfollowed because he doesn't shut up.

>>8198 Something kind of similar happened to me with YouTube. If you remember that Iranian chick that tried to shoot up YouTube HQ a few months ago.. she had a bunch of weird videos on her dailymotion. I figured they would be taken down so I ripped them and re-uploaded to YouTube for archiving purposes. Sure enough, her social media got deleted and I got a couple hundred thousand views in a week. I considered monitizing them just for the irony of YouTube paying me for stealing videos made by someone who tried to kill their employees for demonitizing her.

>>8205 I can agree with this, some people on various platforms just won't stop posting things I barely care about so I'm like, "whatever". But I get really, really hyped when a cool Youtuber or whatever finally uploads a new video or blog post. If I were a blogger, I could see myself posting like twice a month. But every blog I've ever done was dead within a month. Oh well.

got a compliment on my hair from some random the other day. i don't put a whole lot of effort usually, just keep it relatively neat but it was nice, if kind of out of the blue. i did overthink it for ten minutes afterward and mentally berate her sense of style but it's the little things i guess

>>8220 > someone thought I looked nice, clearly something is wrong with HER

I posted my dick onto a cybersex site, and a girl messaged me telling me she liked how it looked. I was blushing and very, very happy to read that message. I even made my first friend on that site with her. Of course as I was waiting for another response power went put in my city and all I have now is my phone. Sometimes all a person needs is a few kind words. I feel great, like maybe other girls feel the same.

>>8312 How do these sites work?

>>8313 Think of it like a more lowkey social network, in fact the site I'm using reminds me of MySpace especially during the time where people were told to be more consious of their info. Going off of the MySpace analogy, you can browse profiles, PM them, make friend requests, etc. A lot of people tend to be mad into RPing and of course you have people who just want you to pay money to watch them cam BUT... you do just have folks who just want to be watched or have dirty talks. Since I'm on Lainchan it needs to be said that a lot of these people are not tech savvy or privacy aware, meaning a lot of Skype users. Though I'm sure you could convince some people to protect their privacy with something like Mumble. Also, you could also use sites like PornHub since that has social features and everyone is generally cool and friendly. But right now I use the site Babblesex but I'm just going to use a more popular porn site just for more people.

Making good progress on this song I'm trying to learn on bass guitar. My execution is clumsy and I still have a lot more to learn, but it feels good to be motivated again. Let's hope I'll still have motivation tomorrow!

I'm starting to care a lot less about what people think of me. It's very freeing.

Finally finished the Legacy of Kain Defiance. I still am not sure I get it. Like did Kain kill the Elder God in the end? What was his endgame anyway? So many questions unanswered. And likely will never be answered. I think whoever wrote the story was definitely some kind of gnostic or at least heavily influenced by it, like the elder god represents the demiurge, that much is abundantly clear, some enemies are even called archons. I wonder if the makers of the original Blood Omen are happy with the direction Crystal Dynamics took it in.

I bought nice clothes that fit me well. No more oversized hoodies and jeans. I look great.

I recently left home, I want to live on my own

It's been close to two years since my horrible breakup and I'm actually dating, and it feels right. Also overcame my depression for the most part... It's weird/awesome not being unhappy by default

My parents who tried to force me to get a driver's licence this summer changed their mind because they suddenly think we don't need more expenses for now. I'm so happy !

I finally got my first thinkpad and started configuring it to look really nice. I'm so happy with it, it's so much faster than my old laptop and opens me up to having a system that panders to experimenting with programming and stuff. i've taken this opportunity to start getting familiar with vim as well, and hopefully today i'll wrap up installing and configuring polybar and cleaning up by getting rid of all the default programs and installing more minimalistic ones suited to my uses.

I'm on my way back up from depression. Not sure if because of anything I did. Possibly due to a different mindset I adapted. I think I used to have the notion that having depression means you can't be happy, or it would invalidate the times you do feel pain. I guess I learned it's ok to be happy. I also take comfort in the idea that nothing matters now and it makes me feel better

>>8421 Which Thinkpad did you get? I recently got a T420. Also loving how well Linux Mint runs on it.

I managed to avoid failing everything this semester due to not studying because of crippling depression. Kinda makes me feel good about my intelligence, but is like kicking dead whales down the beach that my GPA is going to take a hit at the account of me not being able to get my soykaf together. I just want out, one way or another.

>>8337 Sounds nice! It has been a while since I played bass, thanks for remembering me that it exists.

My visualizations skills are so good right now and I don't even practice so much. It improved all suddenly, I can almost see a realistic anima and I had a dialogue with her. The dialogue itself was not perfect, but it was more realistic than other times. Damn, if I restart practicing, maybe in one year I will already have a developed a higher self or some soykaf like that.

I made a meal my family actually ate and enjoyed last night. Normally they only ever eat the meat and complain there wasn't enough even though I plate it with big side dishes. So them actually eating the salad with the meat was a nice change of pace

>>8486 Just a warning. Don't overdo it.

I'm really happy, I feel as if I'm slowly mending my relationship with my younger brother. My brother has been looking for a job and it seems like he is taking my advice on employment. He used to just blow off my advice but I think it's because of how forceful and domineering I was. I was trying to be his father and not his older brother, and being the elder brother in a soykaf situation I was trying to be everything. Being raised by a single mother, for some god awful reason I became a wannabe traditionalist to compensate for that. I always talked a big game about "family values" and I even tried to build a "family computer lab" so we wouldn't all be holed up in our bedrooms, everyone but my grandparents and mom moved their computers out of their room. Everyone else either was indifferent (my other brother and Gen X mom) or really liked it (my baby boomer grandparents) but my youngest brother protested it. And other people I talked to didn't say it directly but they were implying that I was being controlling and nosy. When I told him that the reason the computer lab was closed and he could have his computer in his room because I realized that even when he was a minor I shouldn't have forced his computer out of his room and that I was in the wrong for not respecting him, he changed and doesn't really fight with me much. For some reason, he tells me that I am "command raping" him whenever I ask him to help outside or clean the house but you know what, that's my mom's problem now. I might be the man of the house now but he's my brother and the only one who understands me in that house. He respects me and my feelings, and I will give him the same back. I just hope he doesn't say, "stop command raping me" when he finally gets a job.... oh god. I was really stupid to think you can force "family values" onto people. Sorry, brother. I would say I'm sorry to his face but I've always argued "Say sorry with your actions" and I've been doing that.

>>8498 That's really cool

>>8421 Experimenting with and configuring a system to fit what you like is lots of fun

I got through some 3d modeling tutorials, they are long and it makes me feel like I am making progress on something.

>>1067 >>1068 >>1070 >>234 Degree-lain here. After working at a dead end job for many months, I decided to further my education. I've recently begun a PhD program. It feels so good to be using my brain and to be venturing into deeper learning. I just wanted to say that this site resonated with me on an ineffable level. Thanks for the kind words friends. I would have still been in a very dark place if I didn't find the motivation to pursue something greater.

I actually started reading a real physical novel for the first time in many years. I have read manga on my phone, and non-fiction essays, but I'm finally getting back into reading. Maybe I should have started with a shorter book though...

I went on an actual date for the first time in years. It went a lot smoother than I expected. I hope there will be a second

>>8681 Similar deal, I've gotten into reading books on stuff I've been wanting to learn more about (mainly IT topics related to my job for now, plan to read up on programming languages I know later), rather than relying on wikis and forum threads like a dumbass. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner, there's no telling how much I would have learned by now if I did.

I managed to not complete any single goal I set for myself today. I've achieved peak procrastination, the only way to go is up! I'm optimistic about the future... this state of being surely can't be prolonged indefinitely.

I managed to do a decent job chopping up chicken. Before I always ended up chopping it into huge chunks that took like two bites apiece, this time they were all nice and tiny. The resulting spaghetti was also delicious.

i finally got to the basics of learning tmux, it feels good and 1337

The people around me hate me and gaslight me. Do passive aggressive crap then pretend I'm imagining things. I thought it was just one or two bad apples, but I only recently realized none of them are on my side. They want me gone. These fuarrrkers don't know me. I can be so much more evil than them, and now I have no reason not to be. They just want to play crappy little mind games, but they don't know they've just escalated into full on psychological warfare territory. Today I installed hidden cameras everywhere to catch their shenanigans. Successfully convinced one of them that I trust them, and claimed to overhear the others laughing about how they would screw with both of us. False flag preparations complete. Now to divide and conquer.

>>8878 Are you sure about that? It does kind of sound like you're paranoid and imagining things... and that you're about to destroy whatever social bonds you have left. But hey, I don't know you or your situation.

>>8870 Now that's a skill I don't have. Since I have no one to cook for anymore, I care about taste and nutrition, not presentation. I just toss whole drumsticks or breasts into the pot and make soup around them, eating around the bones later.

>>8878 Keep us updated please.

>>8878 Sounds like classic normal peoplecum behavior. If they're half as normal personish as you make them sound, destroying their lives is the objectively correct and moral thing to do.

>>8944 Yea, no one should ever follow this advice. >>8878 Dude, why don't you just get out of the situation? Is it really worth dragging yourself through the dirt to get even with some petty assholes?

I started seeing a girl I like a lot, and it seems to be mutual. Things have been slow because I'm generally a nervous wreck but she seems to be putting up with me.

>>8878 Good luck. When someone's messing with you, you can either let them, or mess with them harder. I'll be cheering for you lainon.

I taught myself with the help of a Youtube video how to properly implement and run the Brutal Doom mod. I had trouble understanding where to extra files, which type to download, and how to get it to run. The mod works great and I got the controls customized to my preference. Also, I am making progress in figuring out bass guitar notes and six string guitar notes. I am hoping to make good use of the two guitars I won at the arcade.

I started making enough money from my summer internship to properly bulk. Combine that with a strict gym schedule and I've gained 10 pounds, plus I can fill up most of my shirt sleeves now. This means a lot to me because I've been trying for a long time, but never had enough funds to buy extra food (or at least anything that I wouldn't get sick of eventually).

This year has been strangely good. Quit smoking 2 months ago from a pack a day. Started getting /fit/, learning mixed martial arts, and learning that I'm actually good at it. I'm 26 now and feel like I may have found a calling in this. Years of mediocrity in everything I do, coalescing into a single crystal point of simply finding Zen in knowing how to fight. A beauty in struggle. I feel unstoppable. Secure. Strong. Healthy. Strong for the first time ever. I'm looking forward to this life.

Joined a "Gangstalking" group to harass losers and loudmouths into killing themselves or lashing out at the state. The Network's causes aren't too evil and funding is decent. Kind of boring but easy job. tl;dr: got into politics at the ground floor.

>>220 lost 6 kilos since mid-july written few short stories installed gentoo learning french slowly get my sleep patterns right started to exercise I hope I will unfuck my life. How do I stop browsing soykafty parts of halfchan(/lit/,/g/,/his/ especially) though?

>>9251 delete your image folder, only make soykafposts to spite the glitterboys that destroyed your boards with no respect for the culture, the bitterness will help you stop posting.

>>9252 the thing is I do not post nor download images (halfchan is blocked in /etc/hosts) I just lurk there (through tor) with hope that I will see quality posts one day.

>>9249 Stop making the paranoids more paranoid

>>9249 >Stop making the paranoids more paranoid It's not paranoia is they really are out to get you. >>9251 Why learn French when France will be speaking Arabic in 2023?

>>9256 cause I already speak arabic.

I can make good pour over, that's about it. being able to make something for someone I care about each morning feels nice. it's really the only thing that feels worth it or even remotely good anymore.

I recently saw a girl at a party who I'd driven myself crazy over when younger, and it sent me into an intense, isolative depression. During that though, I found all you beautiful lains and learned to work from CLI, and now I don't feel as lonely.

>>9242 Congratulations Lainon, keep moving foward and never surrender in the bad times. Enjoy these good moments because there will be more. All depends on you and your form of see the life and how you deal with the obstacles. >>9319 I'm happy that you are not feeling so lonely. I had that feeling for a long time in my life but now, with all the thing that i live and learn and the friends that i found in my way. I don't feel so lonely. Don't close you upon the world, open to it and enrich yourself with all the good thing that it has.

>>9284 You sound a lot like my bro who is getting married. But those pour overs keep ya boy going.

>>9259 Allahu ackbar Mashallah Btw isn't arabic like super duper hard to learn? The only language harder I would think is hindu Just how?

>>9772 tonal languages like Mandarin and Vietnamese are usually the hardest for westerners. Arabic at least uses familiar sounds.

>>9772 >Just how? Common dude connect the dots >already knows Arabic >trying to learn European language He's a "refugee". Arabic is his first language he didn't learn it. >Btw isn't arabic like super duper hard to learn? Apparently so. >Category V: 88 weeks (2200 hours) >Languages which are exceptionally difficult for native English speakers >Arabic >Cantonese (Chinese) >Mandarin (Chinese) >*Japanese >Korean https://www.atlasandboots.com/foreign-service-institute-language-difficulty/

>>9778 pro tip -- Arabic is often a second language in Muslim-majority regions. Much like Hindu is in India.

I'm trying to work on controlling my behavior, I was able to control myself today.

>>9778 do you feel uncomfortable yet, white man?

>>9778 That asterisk supposedly marks jap as harder than the rest and that makes no sense. The only particular difficulty in Japanese is memorizing the Chinese characters plus the on/kunyomi. Other than that the grammar, syllabary and structure is really simple and because of the hiragana system easy enough to learn. Chinese on the other hand is never really written in pinyin, and the pronunciation is tonal in a way totally unlike the English language.

>>9789 >Does it make him less of a "refugee"? No, it as just an interesting tidbit. I obviously didn't know what I was talking about and >>9779 educated me. It's all good. >He's not even from a warzone region, where all proper refugees originate. Doesn't matter if he is. A true refugee goes from the danger zone to the closest safe zone. They don't travel 4000km across the sea and through 50 other countries to get to northern Europe. Those people are not refugees they're piss takers. >Stay in your own country and make it less soykaf instead of invading other lands, you friggin mongs It's not his fault for coming, it's our governments's faults for letting him.

I figured the world out. Not "my world" or any personal bullsoykaf, but the whole world, all perspectives blah blah blah. The problem is that it's so huge, I can't really say anything about it because the lossy kind of compression that human abstraction and speech is would ensure that whatever comes out of my mouth is utter fuark-soycaf. Basically when you've figured it out, all you can do is sit there and watch others trying to do the same hoping they succeed, while you watch your hands typing the most retarded fuarrrksoykaf you've ever read on the internet. A bit ironic, and quite trippy.

>>9787 even on obscure imageboards like lain you can't avoid these self hating whites lmfao

After years of angst I finally got my engineering degree. I'm finally going to be able to focus my energy on something other than procrastination. Probably making my own foss game.

Set up my own MediaWiki instance on an r pi. Comfy.

I'm proud of me because I'm practicing a seitz's concerto on violin.

I put out a fire in a parked vehicle that wasn't mine at 6:30 AM with the fire extinguisher from my own kitchen, then spent the morning dealing with the owner, fire fighters and police who couldn't figure out how a fire started in a jeep with no working electricals or any gas in it. We're all guessing arson.

>>9812 Good.

>>9841 Nice!

>>9848 That's super cool anon. Musicians are really awesome

I've balanced my time between college, running a business, taking care of my home, and taking care of myself. I have also managed to achieve this balance without having a regular routine which is key. Irregularity keeps me regular.

At long last, my sh1t might be together.

Getting comfy with having moved out, routines are setting in with studying, cleaning, cooking cheap food etc. Soon i will start exercising regularly and burn my Hogwarts admission.

Last night, I did not lose my cool despite nearly getting into a tipsy fit playing Melty Blood at the arcade section of a bowling and entertainment center. I had blown three dollars worth of credits and kept screwing up because I was playing as a more difficult character and I kept trying different "moon styles." Afterward, I visited some bar with a dance section to help me further overcome my anxiety issues and I managed to get a free Sam Adams Oktoberfest because of an initial mishap with the drafts. I also got a free soda there too. Also, a few weeks ago, I finally made the long thought out decision to quit my soykafty part-time retail job. My parents are cool with it as long as I show effort seeking a new job and as long as I don't blow my bank budget. I am considering becoming a Lyft driver for a while until I think things further.

I sent off my CV to the careers lady at my university and the only criticisms were of the aesthetic things, so I've done much better than the last time. I'm going to start applying for experience now. I'm also applying for a very good master's program. My life will have a lot of hope again if this goes anywhere, at the moment it's quite bleak.

after another sleepless adderall night still behind on work, having to get up in two hours, no better off then I was falling behind, worrying i will fail out and never see my friends again, i felt god. there is no questions in my mind anymore, i trust god, i trust the universe, trust myself. theres simply no need to question, its out of my control and thus all in my control. If I pass out standing up that will be how i testify. I feel like a human again, not a beast. I know god and the universe loves me with that special love i may have confused with a nihilistic ambivalence. Some find peace at birth, I must have a particularly damaged soul for ive had to sink so low to feel it. Yet there never was a moment I didnt have to go through this much to feel it. I dont know that it will last, I just trust it will and so it will. Not that I will never feel bad again, but that I will never see it as the end anymore. The world is okay. My mind required god to show me, for you it may be perceived as something else.

I scored a 297 on my last PT test in basic. Feels good to see progress on my pushups after struggling for so long.

I'm finally free of my years long pornography addiction and it feels incredible. I haven't touched it in almost three months.

>>10389 How did you do it lain, i need to beat that addiction too!

>>10390 I had to completely change my attitude towards satisfaction and self reward, chastity, and what I wanted out of my future. Basically I came to see what I was doing as childish and ultimately damaging towards my ability to form normal relationships with others. I also joined the military during that time and the 2 ish months without access to a phone really helped go kick the habit out. Now that I have it back I'm not tempted to do it anymore. Good luck lainon and don't give up. It'll be one of the hardest things you'll ever do but it's so worth it.

I fixed a good pair of earphones (Sennheiser CX 300II) by swapping out the cable with one from a cheap soykafty pair. The hardest part wasn't the soldering, it was taking off those silver rings in order to open the damn things up.

been feeling very self confident lately. Doing really well in graduate classes, been maintaining existing friendships. Feels good to be a little bit engaged with the world.

I asked out a co-worker today. It didn't go very well, but at least I made the attempt.

>>10425 ouch At least you made the attempt, that's the spirit!

>>10425 nice! You got this lain

>>10425 well done man you got a lot of guts

I've been keeping much fitter lately, moving away from being a skeleton, and getting out more often. A woman probably more intelligent than I am I've spent 2 years with online agreed we could start trying to meet more often, and in a couple of years when we have our mutual soykaf together she may marry me. I've been working on challenging a lot of anticipatory anxiety and overthinking, and symptoms of depression and derealization. Might go back to therapy some time in the future. And just this week I've stopped being a NEET and got a job in a small company, and further education. In all that, I'm just trying to approach life with patience and optimism, not letting my own internal stresses get to me. Life feels difficult, but I hope most of us have things we can be glad for and ideals to hold on to. It'll take a long time, but I'm alright with it now.

>>10425 Good for you!

>>10465 >And just this week I've stopped being a NEET and got a job in a small company, and further education. Congrats.

I've achieved a first class mark for my first two assessments this year, and I may end up on on the second best master's course for my subject in world. This is the most hopeful I have ever been in my life. I got very poor grades before coming to university and to have come this far astounds me.

Made some pretty nice leaps in physical fitness. Best shape I've ever really been in. Quit smoking, haven't had one in months. I forget when that was but oh well. Might be ready for a relationship again. Don't really know yet.

>>11334 Congratulations, dude. The future's looking bright. We're gonna make it.

>>225 >Made me feel really independant I know this feeling. I've been neet for two and half years now, and living with my parents all this time. fuarrrk, I can't even breathe in here, but I'm really glad that everything is working fine for you, Lainon!

I've been running a D&D game successfully for 5 sessions so far. I'm very happy and excited that it's going so well

i think i finally have a friend that wont ever leave me even if i wanted them to. Even when we arent together she still always texts me and calls me unprompted to tell me her problems. i used to think she was kind of mean but now i realize she sticks up for me and does a lot for me behind the scenes. i told her about a girl that did something pretty awful to me several times like illegal and i went to look at her instagram today and its dissapeared. No name change either because im kind of obsesssive (i think its fair considering what she did really changed me) i know her friends and pictures shes in/liked and nothing. I didnt want her to say anything I didnt even think of it, I would have told her no if she asked if she could, id be a little angry to her face if I asked and she said she did. But it still makes me kind of warm inside, ive had to stand up for myself for so long no ones been near me and so I cant deny it feels nice to have someone who I at least see as a bit more respectable and commanding then me look out for me. no one has ever ever done that for me not even my own family. it is like kicking dead whales down the beach though cause she wouldnt ever be that nice to me face to face shes been through a lot too and has trouble showing affection I think, now I can see better when she is trying. Her therapist told her to stop making decisions for people but I like it because its one way she shows she cares, I guess she also shows she cares by consciously avoiding it she always reminds me since she was told that "you dont have to do that you know its just my advice" but I really like it. This is probably really messed up/unhealthy to say but she could direct my whole life if she wanted she always knows what shes doing and is so successful at everything. And also even though shes really pretty and successful because shes a bit of a weirdo inside she always gives everyone a chance including me, and thats never changed. I told her maybe 2 years ago that I think she will figure out how to be normal and stop talking to me and it isnt true, shes made plenty of friends now and im still one of her favorites. shes gonna have to go away pretty soon though, I hope I can learn a lot more from her before then.

I got a 4.0 GPA this semester. It was easier than I thought; I used to do the minimum effort to get a passing grade before, but doing very well isn't that much harder than doing acceptably. In the end, the fear of losing tons of time and energy to studying was worse than actually doing it.

>>11942 >doing very well isn't that much harder than doing acceptably. care to explain this, lainon i find it very difficult to focus on something when exams are approaching generally i try to give my 100% before one week of the exam and pretty much it fuarrrks my grades

>>11962 don't do that. The trick to doing well in school is to start working moderately hard at the start of the semester, and continue to do so right up until the end. Don't sprint and rest, that's bullsoykaf and it doesn't work. Treat school like it's your job, spend 8 hours every weekday on it and don't go over that. You'll be exhausted by the end of every semester, because studying is actually much more intensive than working, but thats why breaks are there.

I'm 23 and I'm still alive. I thought I would have killed myself before 20.

>>11962 Hint: sleep consolidates memory. The more you sleep on new information, the more you retain!

>>12003 i found doing sport to be a more effective boost. Publications speak of about 20% higher memory retention learning directly after exercise but i achieved almost perfect memory retention learning during exercise despite a horrible baseline. What i did was just take notes on bike tours and reiterate while biking with short stops to read up more information to memorize.

I always take the stairs Also majoring in math

Life is looking good to me, will be leaving home to work in a new town next month. Hope you all have the same luck I've been having.

First semester of university and I got 5 A's and 1 B-

i'm genuinely happy all the time

I've written an essay good enough that I think can be adapted into an academic article, so that's my goal for this year. Have any lainons been published?

>>12153 I unironically got a participation award for an article I submitted to a journal... they did not publish it, but told me they might in the future, so they gave me a free subscription to the journal as compensation.

I did it Lain. I got a job as system engineer at a company with focus on FOSS.

I finally landed a job in tech at a place that's actually worth a soykaf after battling mental health issues for over two years.