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Any lainons here that have experience in handling with people that have recently been sexually harassed? My gf was harassed by an old guy at work twice now. The second time but >>accidentally<< touching her butt. She has a history of sexual abuse and molestation so it triggered her immensely. I just don't know how to handle it right now and I'm crying because I feel so helpless. Please if you have experience tell me what I can best do for her.

I'm sorry anon. My gf was also molested as a child and has to deal with the trauma that entails. If the guy touched your gf at work I would suggest having her report it and the other instance of sexual harassment. I'd also suggest getting her some pepper spray or a taser so she can feel safer going about her day to day, knowing she has protection against creeps. Just try to be there for her anon. Don't try to fight the guy or do anything that can get you in trouble when he is the one in the wrong. Best case is her reporting it.

She should go to HR. Also check with the other girls working there if they've had similar experiences. They could go together.

>>1864 find out who did it and confront them. if they deny it you gotta press them a little. if it happens again do some violence.

>>1877 Ignore that guy and follow>>1871

>>1877 That's very bad advice that will get OP into trouble for no reason. Acting like an imbecile is a bad idea. Don't confront these situations on your own.

>>1864 stop crying, don't be a pussy. Time to man up OP. Option 1. Find a less broken girlfriend. Option 2. Trust that your gf has agency and let her figure out how to deal with it, go along with what she says, she's a big girl after all Option 3. Lodge an anonymous complaint with the company she works for/ pretend to be the media investigating a series of complaints/ beat the guy up.

>>1911 because being manly = being an asshole

>>1913 >Taking action when some one sexually molests the woman you love >being an asshole Who are you?

>>1911 >>1913 >>2371 You know he's right..... OP should go option 3, i don't think number 2 will work and i have a feeling you don't want to go trough number 1. OP could also convince and help her to quit and find another job, but she might be harassed there 2.

>>2371 Option 1 is just cowardly and disrespectful. Option 2 will make him come off as cold/unsupportive. The methods mentioned in option 3 will either have no effect on the situation or will make the OP end up in jail. And now that you mention taking action: in two of these options he doesn't deal with the problem at all and instead runs away/leaves it all to his girlfriend. Not exactly manly in my opinion. >>1871 >>1874 I second these two. Accusations of sexual assault have a huge weight nowadays.

I don't have any experience, but I can imagine the pain. I would like to pragmatically consider most if not all options there are to handle your situation. I'm assuming you are able to and will provide emotional support for her and you won't be running away or wait for it to sort itself. We don't have any details so my post is going to be stating the obvious or end up being mostly inapplicable, mind you. So before I start my only suggestion is to make a plan and let her know of this plan, and do your best to carry it out. You're definitely not helpless, neither is she. There is a threat to your girlfriend at her workplace. This old man has the potential to harm her well-being and I'll be regarding this old man as a threat from now on. There are two main ways of preventing harm in the face of a threat, (1) eliminating the threat, (2) evading the threat. Let's go over eliminating the threat first. Eliminating the threat in this case can be achieved through constant surveillance, psychological pressure or physical harm. Constant surveillance would be provided by you or a capable friend, e.g. someone constantly accompanying her. This would prove to be extremely impractical for obvious reasons, and if you had the resources to get professional protection for your girlfriend, she probably wouldn't have to work in the first place. Next up is psychological pressure, such as having a talk with the threat, and making it clear his actions don't go unnoticed and there is someone who cares about her well-being, i.e. forcing the threat to back down in the face of social pressure or physical harm. The main problem here the effectiveness would be dependant on your/your group's social and physical abilities. Assuming it won't displace the threat, the threat will continue to be able to reach her afterwards, so this may even result in being detrimental to the overall situation. Physical harm. Despite being an almost exclusively bad idea this one is a popular advice. I think physical harm has three stages. The first stage falls into psychological pressure category, a beating, shares the same fundemental problem of being unreliable and of being dependant on physical abilities. The second stage would be physically disabling your target, would occur most likely accidentally when aiming for the first stage, although could theoretically eliminate the threat permanently. The third stage would be literally eliminating the threat, namely killing him. Any kind of physical intervention has the chance to be carried over to court. The last two stages of physical harm will definitely result in legal action, rightfully so. While this can too depend on your abilities, realistically you'll be charged with (attempted) first degree murder and found guilty in the case of two latter stages. It goes without saying this'll put her in a considerably more difficult situation, on top of putting yourself in a more miserable situation than of hers. The second option is evasion. It can be achieved by displacing the threat, or evasion on part of your girlfriend. Since we considered psychological pressure in the previous section, that leaves two ways for the threat to be displaced: Social pressure or by the direct action of the company management. Social pressure method relies on getting public attention to the issue and its effectiveness will depend on the company and the community. If PR is a big concern for the company, even a "My girlfriend who works at your company was abused by a coworker, what should I do?" tweet may lead to action by the management. Trying to get news coverage may also help, this will also depend on the company and your location. Going viral is not a necessity, simply mentioning this to her coworkers and sparking conversation will harm the threat's reputation. You can't go wrong with communicating and having ties with her coworkers anyhow. You could get direct action of the company management by reporting the incidents. Communicating with her coworkers can only help in this case too, if there are multiple reports the management will be hard pressed to take action. Last but not least, there is evasion on part of your girlfriend. It's safe to assume your girlfriend does her best to avoid the threat at her workplace. Further evasion could be made possible by requesting a change in her workplace by the management if applicable. Another extreme but valid action would be leaving her current job. This option has the advantage of being completely in your control. Escape if your situation can barely allow it. E.g. Get a job if you haven't already, support her without a job. But as I've stated before, we don't have the details, so perhaps being sexually harassed is a minor problem compared to those you'd have if she left her current job. That's about all I can think of right now, I'd appreciate any help if I've missed any options. Good luck, Lain.

bad memories just need to be rewritten

OP im not trying to sound heartless but shes gotta get over her abuse and soykaf. The fact ypur crying too doesnt look good. She should have told him to fuarrrk off. Id understand if she was all alone with him itd be scary but its a public place. She needs to find her voice. You need to find yours too it seems like. You should have gone up and talked to him, like just sternly. Been like hey what the fuarrrk are you doing. Dont listen to any excuses just get your message across and make the point that he cant do that soykaf. You shouldnt need to kick his ass like these lainons are saying unless he tries something on you. Sexual harassment is a big taboo in our society, hes likely gonna be more scared of that talk cause it implies you might take action. If you kick his ass he essentially got away with it, he knows you arent going to do anything because you might get in trouble now. He straight up also could deny everything and youd face charges and he wouldnt, dumb move. He might not touch your girl again but hes gonna touch someone else. You can kick his ass if he does it again. im just saying im picturing both you guys just like crying cause he touched her butt, and in my head it seems really pathetic. If you guys arent independent enough to both stick up for yourselves and then eachother this relationship is probably just gonna be a learning experience and nothing more. This is going to just fail if you cant do anything but cry, and its going to be a exhausting relationship for you if she doesnt learn to be more vocal and independent. If you do talk to him after id reccomend telling her that she needs to speak up and you know its hard but tell her you are always a phone call away and theres people all around her.

>>2447 >weak submissive doormat syndrome >on obscure chan Huh, who would have thunk it

>>2447 It's easier to rewrite them when you've let them go. And it's easier to let them go when you forgive.

>>2450 Projection is very interesting, but it can also come out as rude. What does a reference to Lain's storyline have to do with being weak or submissive?