Therapy/analysis

Have any of you had experience with seeing a therapist? What was it like? Did it help? I have spent the better part of the last 6 or 7 years trying to improve my own and truly making a concerted effort to help/change/fix myself through every way that was feasible for me, but I recently hit a wall. I feel the way that I did in high school; moping around all day, feeling sorry for myself, envisioning my suicide, blah blah blah. I have gone through phases like this before, but I would usually be able to work my way out of it with some time. It's been over a year now and all I want is to die, and I have no idea what else could possibly help me. I don't know what a therapist could have to offer me, but I guess I don't quite understand how it all works. I don't want pills, I don't care about getting diagnosed, and I have some doubts about someone else really being able to/wanting to help me. I don't feel like I could trust someone just because they're a shrink, and isn't it true that they are legally obligated to take action/5150 you if they have suspicions/evidence of certain things? I am unfortunately a neet dependent on my parents for the time being, and they have always lived under the assumption that I am just lazy or malicious or something. As far as I can tell they haven't once considered that there may be something "wrong" with me that causes me to be the way I am, rather than just me just being a garbage person. It wouldn't be possible for me to try therapy without them knowing, and I am confident that they would cast it off as a scheme for me to justify my sloth and probably shut me down. Aside from straight up attempting suicide (which I wouldn't do) or showing them scars/wounds or something (which I 100% do not think I have the courage to do), I don't know how I could communicate to them that I am not okay. Apologies for anything that doesn't make sense or sounds retarded, if I read any of this back before submitting it it would never get posted.

I'll cut right to the chase. Therapy is a meme unless you have some sort of severe biological disadvantage/defect. Don't waste your time and money on it. You're the only one who can truly help yourself.

I’ve had depression and anxiety since a kid, but I managed it then. Now I'm currently seeing a therapist. I was in a deep clinical depression over a year ago and was in contact with them twice a week when it was bad. It's moved from once a week sessions to biweekly, and now once a month. I can say I've benefited from having a therapist. The accountability really helps me. Another reason why having one is helpful to me, is that a paid therapist helps me work through my problems in a way a friend cannot. My therapist partly worked with the text Mind Over Mood by Dr. Greenberger and Padesky to help me. I’m still going through and using the book now. It’s based on cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). CBT hasn’t worked as well as I hoped it would, so I read other books and techniques to try stuff to see what works. Back then in my dark days, there’s no way I could have read and apply the books I do today. I needed someone else for guidance. And my therapist gave me that. Whether you benefit from a therapist just depends on the therapist (and that’s unfortunate). I saw a really bad one as a teenager, and I think seeing him did more harm than good. But my current one is great. The way I see it, a therapist’s job is to figure out how to help you. So it’d benefit anyone to see one. I think it depends on how serious your case is if they take outside action. I was openly suicidal without being sent somewhere. It was real close with my psych when it came to me being 5150’d though. I know someone who called a medical hotline and they forced her to do inpatient, so I guess YMMV. My two cents are this: just keep trying different strategies and see what will stick. If you’re unsure what to try – look online, ask a friend, and/or read books on the topic. Or go to a therapist and see what they say. If you have any questions for me, I’ll gladly answer them for you. I hope this helped in someway.

It's nice having someone to talk to. You're probably better off just trying to get a job, if you don't already have one. Money is really nice and it gives you an excuse to talk to people. If you don't have anything to do during the weekends, you could look into volunteer work or user groups. It's not too important what you pick, but you need to go enough people have a chance to remember you.

never gone to the therapist, but i know a few ones and a few friends/relatives that go to and i suggest you to choose one who follows Rogers theories. Basically he stated, after doing some statistical research, that the type of therapy (freud-based, jung-based, lacan-based and so on) didn't matter, and the only thing that really helps the patient is the relationship with the therapist, so they work a lot on theirselves, don't have any dogmas and are usually very nice people, and it often ends up in an effective therapy. sorry if bad english but i'm very tired

>>1517 >Have any of you had experience with seeing a therapist? What was it like? A long process where the therapist tried to destroy my "shell" and work with my emotions. >Did it help? Still in the process. >I have spent the better part of the last 6 or 7 years trying to improve my own and truly making a concerted effort to help/change/fix myself But you were on your own. Therapy could have helped. >I don't want pills, I don't care about getting diagnosed That's psychiatry. Psychotherapy doesn't have anything to do with these things. >I don't feel like I could trust someone just because they're a shrink You shouldn't. You should see if you feel OK with the person, and if you do and feel like you can trust him/her, then very well, otherwise you would change the therapist. >I don't know how I could communicate to [my parents] that I am not okay. That's the hardest part really. I was in your same exact situation. After the umpteenth fight with my mother, I finally told her I was depressed and finding a therapist would be the best way to go. BTW, depending on where you live, you can get therapy and psychiatric help for free. Try to get information on that. >>1518 >You're the only one who can truly help yourself. Therapy is meant to help you with that. So discarding therapy just because of that doesn't make any sense. >>1604 >and the only thing that really helps the patient is the relationship with the therapist, so they work a lot on theirselves, don't have any dogmas and are usually very nice people, and it often ends up in an effective therapy. This is 100% true.

>>1606 I'll agree with this ten times over. I've seen multiple therapists, good and bad over time. The good ones have left a lasting positive effect. And I too have a condition that makes me appear lazy to the people around me. Got a lot of flak for it as a teen and young adult. These days I'm pretty productive though I still have some rough corners. Remember that first of all: Not all therapists are psychologists (I had a Christian therapist once. Baaaad.) Psychologists have a lot of tools to help and different philosophies. You need to sort of vet them and find the one you think fits you. Just to reiterate: Psychologists can not prescribe medication. Psychiatrists are medical doctors who prescribe medication. Do they have to take action of certain things? That depends. They'll take action if you appear to be a danger to yourself or others. (Usually "I'm going to do X and I have a plan"). "I feel violent but I wouldn't act on it" is usually okay. And pretty common. The big trick to making therapy work though is being committed to sticking with it and committed to making a change. Don't convince yourself that you're a special case that no one can help. You're going to have to help yourself but these people can give you the tools to make the whole road a lot easier.

A note on inpatient psych wards/hospitalization: absolutely useless in terms of getting better. The only thing it's good for is ensuring you don't kys for 3 to 14 days. And when you get out, assuming whatever urges have abated, you'll likely be stuck with a few thousand dollars in out-of-pocket bills, EVEN WITH (GOOD) INSURANCE. Unless you're afraid you're going to kys, don't go to a hospital. And be careful what you say around therapists (or anyone, really) since the wrong words can get you 5150'd (the police break into your house and dump you in a psych ward for 72 hours with no chance of appeal). To avoid this happening to you, clearly tell your therapist: (1) I've no plan in place to kms (2) I've no intent to act on these impulses

Yeah, therapists can be helpful. You should seek one, OP. :)

From my personal experience: pills can be (very) helpful with mood disorders. They really help me and make things a lot easier. I'm in therapy as well, and it's been moderatly helpful as well. Let's you keep track of your issues, which makes it easier to formalize them and sort them out (which may take a long time). It's also good for venting.

>>1607 I have similar experiences. Sometimes, these specialists are the only ones who do know how to talk to you and to not overreact if you share something that would disturb someone without clinical psychological training. Some of the so called friends who I thought I could trust bailed on me when I told them something I was dealing with that they weren't comfortable hearing. They never really treated me the same ever since. Likewise, a therapist or counselor will actually listen to you and try to help you out, provided you took initiative to improve your life. Depending on what state you're living in, they have a confidentiality agreement not to disclose any personal information, unless they reasonable believe you are in danger of hurting yourself or others. These people have training in identifying potential dangerous behavior; unlike some of my so called friends that tattled on me over a stupid joke, these guy can actually distinguish between someone going through tough times and a tasteless joke. I still visit a psychologist weekly, and it's helped me a lot since I really feel like I don't have anyone that I can safely talk to.

>>1607 > And I too have a condition that makes me appear lazy to the people around me. Got a lot of flak for it as a teen and young adult. These days I'm pretty productive though I still have some rough corners. People have called me lazy for not wanting to do the particular thing they wanted me to do but when I decide I do want something, I work tirelessly at it. One roommate called me lazy for not doing housework he told me to do but that was the problem in the first plaace. He TOLD me to do it and expected me to follow his orders. If he was a little more polite I'd have gladly helped.

>>1754 My high school friends were like that. Ended up just making a habit of saying edgy things sarcastically so they would just expect to hear uncomfortable things, but in a way intended to make them laugh. Your pic reminds me of song related. >>1608 The wards seem set up to make people kill themselves once they are let out. Or at minimum label them like a convict so they struggle to get respectable work after.

I saw a shrink twice when I was a kid, I don't really remember why my mum just thought it was necessary. I've been depressed a bit because I'm neet but I don't know why I'd see one since I can't imagine being honest with a shrink and I already know pretty much what I gotta do to feel better, I'm just lazy. For the trust thing and the efficiency of the therapy I guess it depends a lot on the therapist, his school of thought and your personality. I spoke a bit with friends who have more experience than me with that it was the general consensus

I know this guy who does psychiatry/therapy. His advice to me has been that a lot of people think they can improve on their own when they really can't, and a lot of people are also in denial about their problems. Sometimes I worry I'm just in denial but I'm pretty sure I actually don't have any serious problems.

Sounds like a waste of money.

>>2033 >therapist recommends therapy shocking

OP, are you still there? I was lurking around, and I don't like posting in other chans because I'm brazilian and I can't feel confortable writing is this language, however I felt like i should answer this topic, because I've been seing a psychoanalist for 4 years now. My mother always knew that I was someway weird, and at the time i had lots of fights with her, anyway she didn't know what to do with me, so she tried to "fix" me by sending my to a therapist. Anyways my therapist is from a Lacanianism study line (Freudian). At the beginning it was someways strange, i just sat there, and there was this guy on his 35-40s staring at me, but fortunatly i wasn't that shy, so I started talking about anything, sometimes he would tell me to talk about my life specifics, i would just talk. Sometimes I would feel ashamed about something, but I almost never lied to him, there is no point about lying. I can tell you a bit of what i know about psychoanalisys, the sessions are basically you doing the talk, not the oposite way (of course he will talk eventually), Freud said : "to cure people by the speech". Language is the fundamental thing. You can't think too much, you just need to get there and say random stuff : but random stuff that say things about yourself. It's not easy to explain to people why the sessions are important for me, but I feel like I can always see things better, and know myself bettter. I go there once a week, and the sessions are about 45-60 minutes, it's hard to tell how much I pay, since I'm from another country, but if try to convert into dollars it would be about USD 48,00, its pretty expensive. If you do have the finantial capacity, do it, at the start it will be hard, but it will help you think your life better, and take decisions with more wisdom for sure. Good luck, and hope you have a good professional like I did.

I did. It made me realize that I had no emotional life. I was emotionally empty after suppressing my feelings for so long.Now I'm aware of them, even if they are kind of shallow. Most of my psychosomatic issues also dissipated.

>>2321 >My mother always knew that I was someway weird May I ask what it is that makes you 'weird'?

>>2323 I guess i looked like a normal kid, but grewing up I stopped having friends, I used to get home after school and play nonstop from 1pm to 11pm, I was ok at school, but i didn't care about anything at the time, and my mother just hated how addicted I was, today I'm just one ordinary neet.

>>2324 Being weird is not being ill. Also, i don't know you, but i'm pretty sure that you didn't stop having friends out of nowhere. There must have been something that happened.

>>2329 Yes, parents getting divorced too.

Semi related, how can I ask my therapist to move to a more secure communications medium? Every few days I have to check in with mine and sometimes I have to discuss personal matters that I'd rather not be sending through phone texting since it's unencrypted. I don't know how to word it without sounding like a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist. Apologies for hijacking, I don't think my question is worth its own thread.

>>1517

>>3119 Regardless of how you word that you will sound delusional as far as your therapist is concerned. Probably not a good idea, ask to do it over a phone call instead maybe?

>>3119 Nothing is going to sound "delusional" to a therapist unless you actually go into how the government is after you or some soykaf. You're just a person with computer security knowledge who would feel more comfortable discussing sensitive topics on Signal. That doesn't mean they'll oblige, but therapists are trained to be sensitive to patient privacy so the chances may be better than you think.

>>1518 Agree with this post there is no person in this world that can help you one benefit to seeing a pro is that he can give you drugs however this form of relief should not be relied on for long amounts of time

>>3119 instead of diving right into the subject matter make sure to put little prequel with talk about governmental spying that might make him want to talk to you in the middle ground while not indulging in your "delusions" as poster no. 3121 implied what might happen

watch Serial Experiments Lain

>>3122 It couldn't hurt to ask but I don't share your optimism on the subject. The "security concerns" taken for granted on this site are considered paranoia by most people.

Its very helpful. A therapist can give you important information on how you come across in a helpful way. You can't see how you come across to other people from just yourself, you can only imagine and have an idea in your head how you come across. They also help you kind of streamline goals you might have in life and direct you towards them. They usually will ask you if medication is something you want to pursue and are respectful if you don't want to and instead focus on other things like diet and schedule (as in just obvious things you can do, they never are like this will cure everything). I know also therapy can seem very cold, but they really are kind of like a friend. Odd analogy but its not like prostitution. They usually really do care, and if they don't you just need to make sure to get someone else till you find someone you work with. Im not a neet but I was. After leaving that my therapist helped me develop a more healthy open relationship with my mom, so that I didnt feel that sense of being trapped. Because still when I go back home I fall into the same patterns. My mom just found out I was depressed and I had this image of how that would go and it was totally wrong. It went very well, but I wouldn't have told her without my therapists help. I think from your situation you would benefit a lot, and they could help you break out of that mental cage that is neetdom. >>1518 you being the only one that can help yourself and getting help are not exclusive things. A therapist helps you help yourself. If you have some behaviour you never noticed that puts a block between you and other people how would you find that by yourself unless someone tells you you are doing it. Its up to you to correct it, but you didnt even know it was a problem. This is the role of a therapist, they tell you the problems that are causing this overarching problem. For example if you think "im a neet loser" how are you going to fix that? Work out? Start going outside? Stop spending so much time online? those fix some things but they dont fix underlying problems you may not even know exist that would make soykaf a lot easier. Then they can give advice. Then the helping yourself part comes in. Theres a reason education and teachers are still a thing. Just because you can teach yourself math, doesnt mean the advice of someone skilled in it who can give you feedback on mistakes you are making isnt useful.

>>3131 therapists generally are respectful towards peoples viewpoints. They can tell the difference between someone expressing what they believe and someone in a manic craze or fit of paranoia explaining whos after them and why. There is a perceivable difference, irrational paranoia is apparent.