Leaving this Limbo

Heya,maybe you can help unfuck this situation. It's been 3+ really weird really long subjective years since my ego death from acid and maybe a year after my genius idea to ground things with a first time meth binge which really gave things that much needed schizo spice and i've just about had it with this thing. The only actual way out feels to me to go all-in with acid again,maybe along with some 5meo-DMT just to be safe and try to leave this human life thing behind,return to the source or whatever. Thing is i'm too scared to do it since the past few times i've done it i've encountered real spooky stuff so i've been stuck in this unwinding unreality trying to keep myself together with stories as i did in the past but it's obvious this thing isn't really working so here i am for encouragement and advice. The alternative of going on antipsychotics and "joining" society or whatever feels like a bad end even compared to this dead end limbo i'm in but i think i've run out of things to turn to here so i dunno what to do. How do i psyche myself up to get out of here? https://lainchan.org/zzz/res/6877.html Here's some extra material in case you're interested. Please help.

>options are drugs, other drugs, and different drugs but I'd rather not the different drugs have you tried not drugs

>>15001 Well,the state i've been in for months has been drug free,aside from alcohol,and doesn't seem to be getting anywhere.

>>15002 This is my one-trick-pony type think, but I would look into improving brain energy. I am not very well versed in this matter of psychological detachment... it would be interesting to formulate a theory for it. I took LSD about three years ago now? My only time. Definitely was a bit egoless for a few years afterwards. Used to google around DP/DR all the time. Now that is not the case. If you're eating any seed oils you should stop that utterly and never look back. That basically means never eating out ever again. Modern chicken, pork, tuna, nuts/nut butter, also contains PUFA which harms mitochondria when accumulated beyond detox ability. Neurosteroids like progesterone, pregnenolone, have a nice stabilizing effect in the brain. To this end it helps to consume an appropriate amount of good cholesterol (milk, cream, some muscle meat) in addition with thyroid-promoting substances like a touch of pure sucrose, or fruits. In your extreme case, a bit of substances like thiamine or niacinamide could be helpful, if suitably pure. All-in-all, the perception of "I wish I could go back to the way I used to be..." is a tempting goal that's simple to articulate, but really what you want is to become suitably future-oriented (like you were back then, in all likelihood...). In this kind of state you won't even care because you'll have projects and stuff to do. That's what being appropriately energized feels like. Wishing you well.

>>15003 It's not so much wanting to go back since i wasn't really happy back then as wanting the courage to leave the world behind since it no longer feels real but as something i have to get over.

>>14999 Accept the abusurd irrationality of existence. But even then, idk.