psychs and sobriety

i wanna do acid bc ive never done acid or any classical psychedelic but im also in recovery for dxm and stimulant abuse and i want to stay sober. im also prone to anxiety/panic/depersonalization and have panic attacks when i smoke weed, but have had good trips on dxm. i dont want to relapse but im curious and really want to experience an altered state of conciousness/have a mystical experience. feeling conflicted.

i'd say realistically doing acid won't trigger a relapse on other drugs

It's only a mystical experience if that's what you want it to be. That said, it's inherently never mystical. This is true of every drug. You sound like you should probably just stay sober for awhile.

>>13087 yeah you're probably right. how do i explore mysticism in the meantime without drugs?

I did 250ug and had psychosis that lasted 4 months. I was in bad mental place, a lot of stress and emotional turmoil. While everyone around me was on tons of speed I decided to do LSD? The trip was nightmarish. I fought myself not to suicide. 7 times I evaded it by hairline. I saw sky open up and God having face of disgust, he turned his back and walked away. When the sky closed after him demonic imps started attacking me by jumpibg in and out of my body and scaring me and pushing me around. For next 10 hours or so I fought them. I thought to myself "this world is not worth the suffering, people in it are wicked and humanity is doomed to fail". But whisper of Jesus Christ saved me. I called upon his name and demons ran away. I felt peace. I realized long after the trip and psychosis why in actuality I was doing all the drugs. The anxiety and wanting to run away from myself was out of fear of Gods judgement for my sins and willingness to push him away. I repented and am a better man now. Drugs in of themself are an easy way into experiencing the world. Whatever you are seeking in drugs you can achieve in different ways. But drugs do it with a quick and unnoticable at first exchange, a bit of good and bad. When people have some trauma or emotional turmoil they often jump to drugs. These people put the title of patient, doctor and the pharmacist in their own hands. Read a bit of psychonautwiki and erowid and voila, you now know a bit of neuropharmacology and neurochemistry. Good job! The arrogance is palpatable but me joking has no negative desired effect. That is not my main desire here. OP, have you tried other ways to change the way you are thinking? Some that are less dangerous? I don't say "don't do drugs entirely" but try less dangerous ways first? MAYBE try to find a root cause of you wanting to change your perception of reality. What part of you do you want to change? What do you dislike about yourself? Meditation? Lucid dreaming/Astral projection? Religion? Talking to your God directly? Trying out new foods? Having new experiences? Learning a new language? Going to a new country? Going in wilderness? Tried any of these? All in all? ASAP market is reliable current market and LSD is easy and cheap to order. I suggest shrooms though, much easier comeup and lot less intense for less time. Growkits are available on clearnet. 2C-B is also great, has cool effects and makes you feel great. Can recommed both above LSD, my friends do too.

>>13088 Lucid dreaming is fastest and easiest. Easiest amongst methods to get you there is called "WILD method". At least was for me. Some use MILD method or WBTB. Maybe you might get to Akashic records. Remote viewing could also be tried. Binaural beats could make you hemi-sync. The ladder experiment will make you believe it.