Drug abuse and recovery

I've had stages in my life where stress was all I had. School was one of the main factors of stress. I had no proper ways of coping, so I began drinking. At first, it wasn't much, just some beers a few times a week. It slowly progressed into more alcohol, but I wanted to try something new. In the end I was smoking weed casually. Sometimes hash, but mostly weed. I didn't know that weed can cause depression in the first place, but even if I did, I didn't care. I have abused it for almost two years. On top of that I developed a p*rn addiction. I was literally jerking off daily, everyday. Messed up my dopamine system, social skills, pretty much everything. It took me at least another half a year to realize my problems and come up with solutions. I used to be smarter than others in school, could think fast, knew quite a lot of things. I never had difficult putting effort into anything, into studying or anything else in that case. However, loads of stress changed that. I was drowning in depression and a bunch of addictions. I also developed severe OCD. The point is that my mental health is fuarrrked and my brain has greatly degraded. I don't know what to do anymore. For about one week I tried doing a lot of things to make my brain work and I actually felt minor progress. But now whenever I come home, I can't do soykaf anymore. I'm tired and all I want is sleep. I'm sleepy the whole day. I can't concentrate, I can't do anything properly. I can't be fuarrrking productive. I'm at the verge of killing myself. I have 2 options. Whether I beat the soykaf out of me and push myself, work my brain until I rewire them (if it's even possible now). Or the other option, I give up. I'm fuarrrking tired. What do I do? How can I be properly functional again? I don't want to seek professional help. I literally have no effort in doing anything at all.

>>11760 >What do I do? I have no idea how, but you really should try to drink less and smoke less weed. Both of these make you feel even worse. But don't try to suddenly stop drinking or smoking weed because there will be withdrawals if you do it suddenly. Maybe try reading some philosophy (it has helped me). I liked "On the Shortness of Life" by Seneca. Also, some say NAC helps them with addiction problems and depression (but I don't know if it's actually effective). I think that some form of behavioral therapy is effective for OCD. But meds don't have any effect to my OCD, so I recommend you don't take them. >I don't want to seek professional help. Please try it before killing yourself. What there is to lose? But I recommend that you avoid most meds (namely antipsychotics, since they are addictive and they turn you into lobotomized zombie). It depends on your country and your financial situation but getting professional help can make it easier to get some government bux (but that's something for you to consider).

Killing yourself over a weed addiction! What an inglorious way to die! I've been *exactly* in your place, I can truly understand what you're feeling and passing through right now - and I can assure you - things will get better, if you quit weed altogether. It will be tough for the first 2 weeks, since you're rewiring yourself to your new reality - your social dynamics will change, the way you conceive reality will change and you must endure the change. You will be confronted with your own thoughts, and you will, for the first time in a long time, be able to fight them - not escape from them. Learn how to tame the monster you have in yourself. A long tolerance break will do wonders. Focus on school, focus on yourself, make the best version of yourself possible. And when you're ready, really really ready - you'll understand and learn how to appreciate smoking an occasional joint with a few friends around the table. Never, under any circumstances, smoke by yourself ever again.

I wouldn't necessarily blame weed for that, although it can definitely become a fixative abuse for some people. Personally, when I get high it helps me gain insight into the parts of myself I try to hide and for that I appreciate it. Most of the time it makes me anxious, but I appreciate that anxiety, because it lets me know I am doing something wrong, and what I need to fix. That being said, countless pitfalls and horrible people have left me in a somewhat broken state. I drink too much, smoke too much, and feeling "normal" is tricky if I have nothing in my system. My plan right now is to look into nootropics that will help with this kind of thing, and if anyone has any suggestions as to what to look into I would be very thankful.

You beat the soykaf outta you yet lainon? C'mon it's almost 2 months into the new year

>>11760 Living with a subhuman high functioning psychopath brother caused me major anxiety, ocd and pelvic pain syndrome. I wanted to kms.

>What do I do? You seek professional help. You're depressed and it's real. If you don't want to seek professional help, here's my advice: - Sleeping properly, eating properly, walks outside and all that stupid soykaf actually works to some extent. No desperate person thinks taking a walk will solve everything, but most people, statistically, do feel better by having a healthy lifestyle. And you're no different. You've tried this already but don't just go burnout. Start slow. - Humans generally tend to enjoy the company of others humans, and you're no different. - You can mostly come out of it. For most people depression is not a chronic thing. It won't be a sudden realization, one day you'll just realize you haven't thought about killing yourself in a month, and that'll be it - If it's a chronic thing (which, by your description, doesn't seem like it), you'll get partly used to it, and also, SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. For some reason you also sound reasonably young. There is nothing to be ashamed in seeking professional help and those people are trained to fix you. I don't think alcohol and weed fuarrrked up your brain irreparably. But my brother in Christ, - Do NOT expect your mental health to improve by abusing drugs. It will never happen. You get one guy that had a life changing LSD trip every 1000 traumatized people. If you want to take drugs do it for fun, not as a last resort or coping mechanism for your depression. It simply doesn't work. TLDR: If you want to actually feel better seek professional help and quit the drugs. Which is what anyone would tell you, because it's the only thing that sort of works. Keep in mind you're not superman and probably what works for most people could also work for you.

>>12342 It's not like professional help always helps, but since I've lost close friends to drug abuse because "no I won't seek professional help, I'll just do drugs to soothe my pain :)" I know from experience that professional help is usually better than "I will listen to terminally online sociopaths and take their advice". But you're free to drink cough syrup alone at night in your room and think that'll make life better

>>12345 so I too have lost friends, sometimes due to their improperly creased hats. One friend, a pianist and a potsmoker, seldom wore a hat at all and when he did it was generally uncreased or at any rate creased in a fashion not consistent with his vocation. Not that I know the proper crease for a potsmoking pianist, but surely some hat expert someplace does or at any rate could work it out if needed, and could have saved my friends life. But now he is dead, and it is too late. On the other hand maybe hat creases have nothing to do with it, and he simply died because of various other reasons. I have to admit the possibility, but I can say at the very least that I've never met anyone who was harmed by a correctly creased hat (rare cases of weaponization excepting), whereas I've witnessed more than a few people go into the services of 'professional' helpers only to have their lives discernably ruined over the course of months and years.