Pic not related. [spoiler][/spoiler]When I smoke usually it's pretty nice; but when I go above my usual dose (smoking a joint or a dab for example) things can go wrong. The first time was a joint. I had flem in my throat that was bugging me for a couple weeks. Really, really bugging me. No matter what I did there was always more of it. When the weed started to hit I started picking my nose with a tissue. Not to break up the flem, because how's that supposes to work, but to refocus myself and trick my brain into thinking this was helping, because if I didn't do something small it felt like I would do something big.
Well the plan didn't work and I turned out to be right. Maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe my brain just isn't that easily tricked or distracted. Maybe I should've tried something else. I decided to shove my finger in deeper. I knew I shouldn't but it was like I didn't have much control anymore. When I tried to internally talk myself out of it (or maybe when I tried to stop thinking about it?) my thoughts fractured. It was like my brain and body didn't want to hear it. Like it's all they could focus on. So I shoved it in slightly deeper (still had some control), started bleeding, took my finger out and dropped to the floor. It just felt like I was less likely to try it again that way. Plus I think I was a bit shaky. Also my thoughts were still kind of fractured so I didn't want to try walking around and have my clumsy ass possibly bump into things like the piano right outside the kitchen. Called out to my brother so I had someone to make sure I was alright. He didn't respond so I crawled up to his room leaving blood on the steps in the process. He finally heard me, opened his door, took me to my room, helped me put something on, tried to calm me down, checked in on me every 5-10 minutes for the next 30 and had his friend lay down with me (which honestly made me more uncomfortable). I kept saying this is it my mind will never be the same, my thoughts feel so disjointed and it's hard to have more than one thought at a time, everything else was just noise and focused on the flem that I can't get rid of. The other incidents were pretty different and not nearly as bad.
This was a steep climb from my regular dosage, but even considering that it was something. A friend of my brother said he knew people with PTSD who had the same issue, to my knowledge I don't have PTSD but I do have Asperger's and when I looked up what he said (hypersensitivity) it was a very common experience even without weed. Which can heighten it. Should I just avoid weed altogether or just not jump to higher doses? Maybe just not do it when I have something bother me? I don't get these problems with higher doses, but sometimes cartridges... just don't feel right. I keep thinking they're gonna give me a seizure or something (my brother used to get them all the time but we have different dads). They didn't use to give me this feeling, and I haven't noticed this with flower. Any thoughts?