Here's a chatgpt sanitized, more easily readable version of what I had to say:
About 2.5 years ago, I began my programming journey. At that time, I was going through a tough time in my life, but a friend encouraged me to take up a hobby to distract myself. Although I wasn't initially interested in programming, I decided to give it a try since I spent so much time on my computer anyway.
At the time, I spent most of my time playing a social VR unity game that didn't have an anti-cheat but was obfuscated. I started making mods for the game using MelonLoader and found it to be incredibly enjoyable. I spent all my days learning C#, implementing new features, finding and implementing exploits (later on finding exploits to report to the devs), and reverse engineering the game's real-time networking. However, after two years, the developers implemented EasyAntiCheat to prevent tampering and put an end to modding in the game.
I tried to bypass the anti-cheat measures but eventually gave up since I kept getting derezzed. It was a monotonous cycle of bypass -> gets patched -> bypass -> gets patched. I then decided to explore new things and started using Linux (back then manjaro but now pure arch btw) on my laptop and learning Go and server stuff (which I like). I even tried modifying another game client, which had an anti-cheat but wasn't as strict as EasyAntiCheat. Although I enjoyed the process and I had learnt some more C++ and how to use IDA Pro, it didn't feel the same as before.
Now, I'm in my second term of my first year of university, studying computer science in Eastern Europe. I find that I already know most of what is taught in programming classes, but I struggle with math. I'm starting to feel empty and less motivated to code. Even when I do find something to work on, I have trouble finishing it.
When I compare myself to my friends in the field, I feel stuck and question whether I really want to pursue a career in programming. I feel like maybe I'm not meant for it. One friend works for Ubisoft and always has a personal project to work on, another worked on Amazon's backend, and the third works as a Unity client developer and always has something he's excited to work on.
At the same time I consider programming the only way I can earn enough money to move out of this country (actually one of my life goals) and since I love computer nerd stuff it feels matching for me.
My feelings are conflicting and overwhelming me. I could really use some advice on what to do next.